Forever, Edward
by TheNicciLove
Summary: EPOV. Edward keeps a sexy journal for Bella so she will always remember their most intimate moments. Rated M. Sexually Explicit Content.
1. Chapter 1

_**~*~ Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight. I just borrow the characters from time to time! ~*~**_

_**Introduction**_

_Bella, _

_This is the first of many letters I will write to you. There will also be a picture attached to each entry. Tonight I have taken a picture of you while you sleep. You are so peaceful and beautiful. You have a slight smile on your face, and you whispered my name a few moments ago. I hope your dreams are sweet. If I could dream, I would dream of you. On the first page of your journal, there is a blue flower pressed onto it. It is from our meadow. It's a very special place to me. We have many memories there, __**our**__ beginning started there, so I thought it would be good representation of the beginning of your journal. The beginning of us. _

_I will write our story in this journal, Bella. I want you to remember us, what we have. I know you will remember us, but you may have trouble remembering the little things. I will help you remember. I promise. _

_It's been two weeks since you agreed to marry me. I have been investing serious thought into our future, which is why I decided to write these entries. I hope you will keep this journal safe after your change, so you can read all about our time together. Sometimes, during the change, we forget things or at least, push the memories to the back of our minds where it can be hard to ever remember. Please know that I will always be here to help you remember. I will give you this journal on the day that you wake up from your change. I hope you will like it. I hope you will keep it with you always. I have a few things I will put inside too, things that represent us, our love. I love you with everything that I am and I intend to tell you and show you every day of forever. _

_The concept of forever used to scare me, but now I look forward to every minute. Knowing that you will stand by my side as my wife for the rest of time, gives me more joy and pleasure than I can ever explain to you. I look forward to all the different lives we can have together, all the different places we can see together. I want to take you to Paris. I think you will love it there, we can go for Christmas if you like. I want to take you to so many places and show you so many things. I never actually lived my life before you, Bella. I always drifted through, not really seeing things, just experiencing them. Nothing really mattered, nothing excited me. Then I found you, Bella, and all of the sudden, everything mattered. Everything excited me because you, Bella, __**are**__ my everything. You took over my world and brought me out of the dark. For that I will be forever grateful. You are my life, you are my heart, and you are my soul mate._

_I have come to realize that I do in fact have a soul. If I did not, I wouldn't be able to love you and feel how much you love me in return. I would not have the strength to resist your blood. I would not be completely and utterly devoted to you in every sense of the word. But I do feel those things and I am eternally devoted to you, so I know now that I do have a soul. I can feel it every time I look into your eyes and see your soul looking back at mine. I always hated what I am, but not anymore. I embrace this life, and I am grateful for everything I ever went through. Looking back now, waiting a century for you was worth it. I would do it again a million times over if I had to, as long as I knew you would be waiting for me in the end. _

_You know I was hesitant to change you at first, but now I am excited for it. I still hate the fact that you will be in pain for three days because of me, but I know the end result is worth it to you, because it is to me too. I can never thank you enough for allowing me to marry you before you are changed. I absolutely cannot wait to see you in your wedding dress, walking toward me. I know you will be the most beautiful bride in the history of the world. I made you a promise to love you, every moment of forever, but it will be even longer than that. The world may end one day, Bella, but I will always love you. In this life or the next, no matter where we are, I will always love you, only you. I look forward to living this life with you. I look forward to all the possibilities. We can do anything, Bella. We can be anything, go anywhere you want. We can have it all and I intend to give it to you, to us. _

_You will be waking up in a few minutes. I look forward to my new nightly ritual of writing to you while you sleep. You mean the world to me, Bella and I can only hope to find the right words to show you. _

_ All My Love_

_ Forever, Edward_


	2. Chapter 2

_**~*~ Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight. I just borrow the characters sometimes. ~*~ **_

_**** A/N ** I really hope you guys enjoy this, it wasn't planned, it just came to me so I'm putting it on paper. There will be some dialogue eventually, but right now, Edward has a lot to say =] Enjoy!**_

_Dear Bella, _

_You fell asleep in my arms a little over half an hour ago. We had a great day today, we got to spend some time with Charlie and then with my brothers and sisters. It was actually fun for me to play chess with you. I loved it. I can always hear everyone's thoughts and see their moves, there's no challenge. But it was a real game with you today, thank you for that. Emmett says, I lost to a girl and I should be ashamed of myself for "disgracing the Cullen name" ….he was joking of course, but I think he really enjoyed my losing to you. I was so proud when you beat me today, I fell in love with a smart woman. It takes a phenomenal strategist to beat a century old vampire at chess. Times like those make me feel grateful that I cannot read your mind, but there are many occasions when I would give anything to be able to. _

_I would love to see what goes on in your mind, especially when we have our private time. I wonder if your thoughts, at those times are similar to my own. Sometimes I get so lost in you that all of my senses just turn off and all I know is you, Bella. When I'm kissing you, the only thought in my head is your name, the only thing I can smell is your scent. The only thing I can hear is your heart beat and the sound of our lips moving together. The only thing I can feel is your touch. You are the only thing in the world that matters, everything else just fades away. I love you. Thank you, for loving me too. _

_I wanted to write to you tonight about us. I wanted to start with the way we met. I first saw you through the minds of others. But seeing you through their thoughts was nothing compared to seeing you with my own eyes. You were the only girl to ever capture my attention. You were the most beautiful girl I have seen in over a hundred years. Not to mention that your mind was silent to me. I was intrigued. I actually wanted to know you. But your scent, it floored me. I struggled with my control and I very nearly killed you. Even in that moment, when the monster inside tried to take over, I knew I would never hurt you. I knew I had to be strong because there was a reason why I wanted you so badly. I knew, before I even spoke to you that you were too precious to lose. I knew there was something different about you. I knew you were important. I knew I was meant to protect you. I knew I was meant to love you. I knew you were mine. _

_I was afraid at first, to be near you. I was afraid I would hurt you somehow. There are so many ways I could hurt you without even trying. I was afraid I would move too fast around you, or touch you too hard and break a bone. I was afraid that if I lost my control for even a split second, I would make a fatal mistake and lose you forever. I still have to be careful around you, but I know that there is no way I would ever hurt you. You are my life. To hurt you would be my own demise. _

_You were so curious. You had so many questions when you found out what I am. I was always afraid you would hear some truths and run for the hills, kicking and screaming. You would have been smart to run away, but you didn't. You stayed. With me. You trusted me, you believed in me, you loved me. I still can't believe this is all real. I thought I was destined to be alone for eternity, and I was fine with it. I had no desire to find a mate. There was never anyone who stood out to me, no one ever made me feel what I feel for you, not even close. Then one day I met and fell in love with you and now we are planning our wedding. You changed my whole world, I'm a better man because of you. _

_I can never tell you what you mean to me. There just aren't enough words, or at least strong enough words to describe what I feel for you. "I love you." I love you more than those words even mean. What I feel for you is so much more than love, more than an emotion or a feeling. You are the only reason why I'm on this Earth. You are the only reason for me to live. You are, my only reason. I know that I was destined for this life because I was destined to be with you. I'm from a different time, so this was fates way for me to find you. I finally understand what my purpose is. I was made to love you, always. You gave me a life, Bella. _

_We have had so many wonderful times together already. We have experienced things together, we have made a lot of memories already. Some of my favorite memories of us are just some simple, quiet moments. Laying in bed with you every night while you sleep, reading together in the living room, laughing and talking while you cook, and of course our private time. I have to admit, it is getting harder and harder to control myself around you. I think sometimes you might feel like I don't want you the same way you want me, but you are so wrong Bella._

_I do want you. You have no idea how much I want you, how much I need you. I have to stop myself every time I kiss you, I have to resist you. I don't know that I can anymore. I am trying so hard to do the right thing, to wait for marriage. You are a temptress, my Love. You make me think things I shouldn't, you make me feel things I didn't know I could. You make me crazy with desire, passion and lust. I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you without having to stop and pull away. I want to spend hours kissing you, touching you. I want to run my hands up and down your body. I want to discover all of your sweet spots, what makes you want more. I want to know where you are the most sensitive to my touch. I want to know how you like to be touched, what makes you feel good. I want to know how it feels to touch you. I want to know how it feels for you to touch me. I want to feel you, all of you. I want to make love to you. I want to show you over and over again, how much I love you, how much you mean to me. I want to worship you. I want to be inside you and fill you completely. I want to hear you moan my name. I want to do so many things with you, Bella. I can't wait. I am counting the hours until I can make you mine. _

_I fantasize about you Bella. I have so many thoughts of us being together. I have to constantly remind myself to be a gentleman and not act out of lust. I am so sorry if you ever feel like I don't want you. I never meant for you to feel that way. I am not rejecting you, ever. I am only trying to hold myself back, to preserve our wedding night. I want our first time to be as man and wife. I want it to be special and mean more to us than a moment of passion. I don't want it to be rushed and spontaneous, we have plenty of time for that. I want it to be perfect, meaningful. I want you to always remember it, the way I will. I want to make slow and sweet love to you. I have waited a hundred years for you, Isabella Swan, and I intend to take my time and savor every moment of making love to you. _

_Even now, you are sleeping by my side and all I want to do is bury my face in your hair so I could breathe you in. I want to wrap my arms around you and hold you against my chest. Everything about you is absolutely perfect. You are so beautiful, so pure and loving. You are so kind, thoughtful and selfless, it makes me love you even more. You are the love of my existence. _

_A few nights ago, you asked me if I was afraid, that I would ever regret changing you. The answer is no. No, I could never regret changing you, and keeping you forever. Yes, I will feel guilty about stealing your humanity from you, but probably not as much as I should. The truth is, I can't live without you. It's the most selfish thing I'll ever do. But I can promise you, I will never regret it. Please, do not ever think that I have doubts about us. You and I are the only constant in this world. One thing that will never change, is the way I feel about you. I want forever with you, Bella. I want us to walk side by side, holding hands for all of eternity. I want you to be mine, always. We will always love each other unconditionally. We will always be together, we will always be Edward & Bella. _

_The sun is coming up, Charlie is getting ready to leave for work. You will be waking up soon to get ready yourself. We are going to have a long day today. Alice will be over in two hours, so we can go shopping for more wedding supplies. I want to get something nice for Carlisle, a Best Man's gift. I owe him so much, I could never repay him for changing me, for preserving me until you were ready to come into my world. He brought me to you, that's the best gift he could have ever given me. _

_The picture I included with this entry is of us in Port Angeles. Alice took the picture when we weren't paying attention. You are looking up at me like I am the most precious thing in the world. I know that look, that's how I see you._

_ I'll Love You Always,_

_ Forever, Edward_


	3. Chapter 3

_**~*~ I do not own Twilight, I just like to borrow the characters sometimes ~*~**_

_****A/N** Errrm, all these chapters are un-beta'd, so I hope I did okay! I hope I can keep these chapters flowing nicely. Edward has been whispering in my ear all day, he has so much to say! Review please! -Yours truly, nicci x**_

_Dear Bella,_

_I am starting a little early tonight. You are in the shower at the moment and I need a distraction. _

_Today was a good day. We got a lot accomplished and now Alice will let us be alone for a few days. All of the wedding plans are just about finished. Everything else, Alice and Rosalie can handle without us. I am happy to have a few days alone with you, without having to run all over the place. I was thinking tomorrow we could spend some time in our meadow. I want to take some pictures for your journal. Then maybe we could take a ride to Seattle for the rest of the day. We could go for lunch and check out that new book store you wanted to see. We can do whatever you wish My Love._

_You will be out of the shower in a minute. I will pick up when you go to sleep. I want to spend some time with you before you go to bed. _

_You fell asleep about an hour ago. I was watching you and time slipped away from me. You are my angel. I would give anything to be able to sleep, with you, even if it was just one time. I would love to wake up to your face in the morning. I never get tired, but it would be nice to shut my brain off for a little while. And it would be so peaceful to sleep with you in my arms all night and dream of you. I wonder if you will miss sleep, once you are changed. You always say you won't, but you can't really appreciate something like that until you no longer have it. Don't worry though my Love, I'm sure I can find ways to occupy your nights, soon to be, Mrs. Cullen. _

_Last night I wrote to you about some of our memories that are happy. But there were some bad memories too. I'm sure these are things you would rather forget, as would I, but it's the bad times that make us stronger and we owe it to ourselves to remember what we lost once. We would not be where we are in our relationship now, if we would not have had those times too. _

_There were a few times when I thought I would lose you forever. I cannot even tell you what I felt in those moments. The thought alone, even now, scares the hell out of me. I can't lose you, Bella. Not ever. _

_The first time I thought I was going to lose you was when we came across James. A simple afternoon with my family turned into a living nightmare, for all of us. James was a tracker. He lived for the game, the chase. He wanted you. He tried to take you away from me, and I would not allow it. He chased us and followed you all the way to Phoenix. I didn't want to leave you but I knew Alice and Jasper would keep you safe. I tried to lead James away from you, but it didn't work. I did everything I could to keep you safe, only to have you run off and put yourself in more danger… thanks for that by the way. He tricked you into going to the ballet studio alone. So many things could have happened so fast, I could have been too late. The sadistic bastard actually bought me some time by trying to play with you. I ran so fast, Bella. I will never forget the feeling I had while I was running to you. That was the fastest I had ever run in my entire existence, even as a newborn. All I could think about was holding you and keeping you safe. I would not let myself think that I would be too late. I would have crumbled. When I got there I thought I _**was**_ too late, but I brought you back to me. I sucked the venom from you and Carlisle stopped the bleeding from your leg. We got you to the hospital, and you were going to be okay. It took a while for you to heal, but Alice and I were there the whole time. I was so scared, Bella. That was too close, I swore I wouldn't let you out of my sight again. _

_Things were good for a while, we didn't have to worry about James anymore, and we were spending all of our time together, and I loved every minute of it. But then the night of your eighteenth birthday, it happened again. Once again, you were in danger because of me. You were hurt because of me. _

_That was the second night I thought I lost you forever. This is what I refer to as our dark period. By now, you know that I tend to be a bit "dramatic", as Alice says. I over think things, and worry too much. I made the biggest mistake of my life. I left you. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my hundred and ten years. I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought I was protecting you. I thought that if I left, I would take away the dangers of my world and you would be safe. I thought that if I removed myself from your world, you would have a chance at a normal, happy life. I thought I could protect you from me and the baggage that comes along with my life. I thought you would be better off without me. I was wrong. I can never tell you how sorry I am. If I live to be ten million years old, I will never forgive myself. _

_The day I left, I told you that I didn't love you, that I didn't want you. Those words haunted me, every minute I was gone. There is no way, in any world or lifetime that those words could ever be true. I had to make you believe me, I had to lie to you. It hurt so much that you believed me so easily, had I not told you a million times how much I loved and adored you? Part of me wished you wouldn't have believed me, so I could stay with you and figure something out, but I was almost relieved you did believe me. I was able to walk away, bow out and do the right thing. I thought I was giving you a chance. I sacrificed my own happiness to keep you safe. But I know now, how wrong I was. _

_We spent some grueling months apart, and I would have been happier if I was burning in hell. Every minute, you were the only thing I thought about. I played our time together over and over again in my head, torturing myself. I have never felt pain like that, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Surely, death would be more merciful. Every time I closed my eyes, I was tortured by the look on your face when I was leaving. I broke your heart that day, and mine along with it. I died that day. _

_There was no reason left for me to do anything, to care about anything. I wanted to die. But I couldn't leave this world, while you were still in it. If you ever needed me, I had to be there, somehow. I tried my best to stay away, I avoided my family, anything that reminded me of you. I was on my last leg. I was about to come back to you and beg your forgiveness. I couldn't live another day without you. Then I got the call that almost killed the both of us. I went twenty four hours thinking that you were dead, and I was determined to join you. Thankfully, Alice came through once again, and saved us with the "gift of sight". _

_You came to me. You flew around the world to save me. You were so brave and incredibly strong. You were broken because of me and you still did all that you could to save me and bring me home where I belong, with you. You saved me, Bella. You saved us._

_Since then, we have spent as much time together as possible. Granted Charlie doesn't really want me around much, but he seems to have let up a bit since we told him about our engagement. For the record, you were right. His initial thought was to shoot me. Thankfully, he didn't. It would have been hard to explain why the bullet would have just disintegrated when it hit me. His thoughts lately are genuine. He just wants you to be happy. He knows now, that I love you and I will always keep you safe. _

_Tomorrow will be a fun day, you said you would absolutely love to spend the morning in our meadow. And surprisingly, you said you were excited to go shopping with me. You said you just didn't like clothes shopping with Alice, which I find hilarious, especially since she probably "saw" you decide to tell me that. I'm sure we will hear about it later. We can spend the morning in our meadow, then we will head to Seattle. After shopping, I would like to take you to the art museum and then for some lunch. We can head back to Forks and have dinner with Charlie. Then we can head over to our house to spend some time with everyone. Emmett wants to have a "game and movie night". _

_This is the end of this entry, Love. You are talking in your sleep again and there is no distraction in the world that could make me not listen to your soft moans. You whispered something about kissing me. I think I will wake you up by kissing you softly on your lips and neck this morning. It is taking serious amounts of restraint, to not jump on you right now. I want to climb on top of you, pin you beneath me and make love to you all day. You look absolutely gorgeous, sprawled out on the bed. Your hair is wild from sleep, and your left leg is thrown over mine. You have no idea how absolutely delicious you look right now. This will be the picture of the day, added to your journal. Good day my sweet. I will write again tonight. _

_I love you more than you can ever know. Forever, Edward_


	4. Chapter 4

_**~*~ Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight. However, I am borrowing the characters for my own adventures :) ~*~**_

_****A/N** Well my dears, Edward is here with me and he wants me to wish you all a Very Happy New Year. He is keeping me up tonight so hopefully you will all get a good dose of that devastatingly handsome man. Review please ! ****_

_Dear Bella,_

_Today was one of the best days of my long life. I had so much fun with you. I always have a wonderful time with you, but today was amazing. We spent our morning in our meadow, we took some pictures and laughed and talked about nothing of importance. We were just being together. Then we headed to Seattle, where we spent most of the day. It didn't take long at all to get there, thanks to my expert driving skills…. Although you say I drive like a lunatic, I say "I drive like a Cullen". _

_We walked around for a while, just admiring the windows of the stores. ____Then we found the book store you were looking forward to. We parted ways for a bit, while browsing our favorite sections. I watched you from the other side of the store. You always manage to take my breath away. You were deep in thought, admiring a book on classic American poetry. You looked so incredible, you were focused and relaxed. You were smiling slightly when you found a passage you liked, then you would bite down on that soft, bottom lip that I love so much. When you looked up and caught me staring, you blushed a beautiful shade of pink and moved your hair out of the way of your eyes. I wanted to run up to you and pull you close, kiss you with all the passion I could muster and stay that way all day. _

_It took so much effort to block out the thoughts of just about every man that saw you today. I wanted to dismember them every time a thought of you entered their minds. It's times like this when I really hate my so called "gift". I would be a happy man if never had to see visions of you having wild sex with another man again. _

_Not that I can blame them, really. You are incredibly sexy. You are a natural seductress. You don't even realize what you do to me. Every little thing you do just makes me want you so much that I can't stand to be in my own body. You are irresistible, and I am drawn to you. I have to be close to you, even if I am just holding your hand. My body reacts to you in the most amazing ways. My body knows when you are close. I can feel your warmth, and when we are close enough, there is a humming that passes through my body until we touch. Every time. Once we do finally touch, there is an electric current that shocks my whole body. I have always wondered if you feel it too. Sometimes I think you can because you gasp when I touch you softly, even if I am just brushing a piece of hair away from your neck. _

_Something happened between us today in that book store, that annihilated our boundaries, but in an amazing way. I was nervous at first, but then I had no thoughts left to process. You completely owned me today, as you always do. You are a very brave girl, to tempt a vampire that way. _

_You scared me when you cut your finger. I knew it was only a paper cut, but I wasn't sure if I could be close to you while I was already feeling so much need for you, even if it was on a different level. I saw the look in your eye and the smirk on your face. I knew you were up to something, I just never imagined you would do something so dangerous. _

_You walked up to me with such confidence and fierceness. You had me glued to the floor, dying to know what you were planning. It wasn't until you were pressed up against me that I knew what you were doing. You kissed me with so much passion, so much want. It was such an intense moment. Your hands fisted in my hair and pulled so hard it almost hurt. I wrapped my arms around you and pulled you close, running one hand through your hair and the other holding you firmly in place. Then before I could even think about anything else, you plunged your freshly cut finger into my mouth. You said, "Taste me." That was all it took. One command from your mouth and I was at your mercy. The taste of your blood was incredible, but mixed with the taste of your skin, it was divine. My eyes rolled back into my head, and my whole body felt like I had been hit by a tidal wave. I was able to keep the monster locked away, there was a much more powerful need surfacing. Lust. Your taste filled me with want and I needed to taste more of you. I swirled my tongue around your finger taking you in, absorbing your essence. It was only a taste so I didn't drink, I only licked and nibbled enough to enjoy it. You are absolutely delicious. _

_Of course, this sent me into a frenzy. Not one of bloodlust, but one of a primal need to make you mine. My animal instincts kicked in and I wanted everyone to know you belong to me. I pulled you close once more and kissed you like I was never going to be able to kiss you again. Your knees went weak and I had to hold you up. We were passionately, and not so quietly, making out in the middle of a bookstore. I walked us toward the back of the store, to the restrooms and sitting lounge. The lounge was empty so I pushed us inside and locked the door. I never let go of you once. I grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled back slightly so you tilted your head back, exposing your neck to me. I pressed my lips to your neck and kissed you all over, up to your mouth, then back again and down to your collarbone and back up again to your lips. You tasted amazing, I had no intentions of stopping. _

_You were moaning delicious sounds into my ear, and into my mouth as I kissed you. You whispered my name and I wanted to hear it again. I needed to make you moan again and again. I needed to feel more of you. I pushed your jacket off your shoulders and let it fall to the floor. I grabbed at your sweater and bunched it in my hands, so I could slip my fingers up the sides to feel the flesh of your waist, up to your ribs and down your stomach. I had never touched you in this way before, only imagined it, many times. The reality of touching and feeling you was far more incredible than the fantasy. My wildest dreams couldn't even come close to how amazing you feel. I moved against you in a grinding motion, trying to get some friction that I so desperately needed. You moaned again. _

_I growled, and pushed myself even closer to you than I already was and forced my tongue into your mouth. You opened up for me and kissed me back. After a few minutes, I sucked on your bottom lip and began to pull away, you whimpered at the loss of contact. But I had no intentions of pulling away to stop, only pulling away to get a better position. I picked you up and carried you over to the red leather couch in the middle of the lounge. _

_As I laid you down and hovered above you, you whispered my name and pulled me down closer to you. You pulled on my hair and I purred into your mouth. This seemed to have turned you on even more. Even now, as I sit here and relive these moments, I am trying my best to let you sleep. I am insatiable when it comes to you, Bella. I can never get enough of you. I want you every minute of every day. It's never enough, I always want more. _

_We moved together perfectly, a sensual rhythm that made me lose all self control. I kissed you and it seemed like time had stopped and there was nothing, but you and me. Then you pulled back, looked me right in the eye and asked me to make love to you. I have never heard anything so beautiful, and tempting. You were a perfect angel lying beneath me, wanting me to take you, to make you mine. How could I deny you anything? _

_I leaned down and pressed my lips to yours once more. I let my hands roam over your body, tracing lines and circles with my fingers. I told you how much I love you, how much I want you, that I would do anything to make you happy. You looked up at me with sensitive eyes and said you didn't want to push me too far and it was okay if I wanted to stop. I didn't want to stop, Bella. _

_I kissed you again, and trailed a finger down your stomach to the waist band of your jeans, and snuck inside to feel your skin. I ghosted my finger across you from hip to hip, you moaned again. I looked into your eyes and I knew what you wanted. I knew you wanted to keep going, to explore with me. I slowly opened the button on your jeans, while looking into your eyes. I pulled the zipper down and pulled them slowly off your legs. _

_You shivered from my touch, and I felt you tense. I looked up at you again and you smiled and told me you loved me. I continued my travels. I ran my hands over your legs and across your hips and clenched the fabric of your panties in my hand, growling low in my chest. The want was too much, the call of your body was too intense. I lowered my body and dropped my head down to your thighs, and trailed my lips along the inside of your left leg, up to the crevice of your thigh. Your scent was absolutely intoxicating. Your arousal was so strong, I needed to taste you. _

_I wanted to leave some things for our wedding night, so I decided to take a different path. I laced my finger into the side of your panties and trailed my fingers across the wet flesh that I found there. You were so wet for me, Bella. Just thinking about it now, is making me so hard. I want you right now. _

_You were moaning, and begging me for more. You wanted me to touch you, so I did. I pressed one finger into you and watched your face for your reaction. You looked so beautiful. I moved my finger in and out slowly, watching you and listening to you. After a few minutes, it wasn't enough for you, you wanted even more. I added a second finger and thrust them both into a little faster and a little harder. You were shaking underneath me. You were moaning and whimpering, and my name came out from your lips in breathless cries. I felt you clench down on my fingers and you arched your back and threw your head back. You have never looked more beautiful. You screamed my name in ecstasy. I watched in awe, as my own personal Goddess came under my touch. You were dripping down your thighs. You sat up so fast I didn't even have time to do what I was about to. You grabbed my fingers and thrust them into my own mouth. _

_There are no words to describe your taste. I can only say that, there was never, nor will there ever be, anything so delicious and divine in any world or universe. Exquisite. _

_As I licked and sucked my own fingers clean, you joined in and kissed me while my fingers were still occupying my mouth. You tasted yourself on me. Seeing you do that was incredibly sexy. I dropped my hand and kissed you with everything I had in me. I pulled you so close to me that not even air could pass between us. I was so hard for you, Bella, I just wanted, needed, to be inside you. _

_As I was laying you down again, I heard that frustrating, miserable sound of my cell phone. I tried to ignore it, but you insisted it could be important. Sure enough, it was Alice. She had "seen" our little bookstore show, and the aftermath. She informed us that we needed to stop so we wouldn't ruin our wedding night and suggested that we spend a few nights apart until we could calm down. I was not having that. There is no way I could go hours, let alone days without seeing you. _

_We sighed, frustrated and anxious. We helped each other relax a bit before you got dressed again and we headed home. We spent the rest of the night just laying together, reading and talking. I love holding you in my arms, there is nothing like it. We almost made love today, Bella. Even if we had, I would never have regretted it, even for a moment. You deserve to have the perfect wedding night, and I fully intend to give it to you. What happened between us today was amazing, Love. Seeing you like that, there is nothing to compare it to. You are more than beautiful, more than exquisite, more than anything. I love you so much. I burn for you, for your touch. I look forward to spending many more hours in the throes of passion with you. _

_I hope that when you read this, you feel as I feel now. Reliving this day will be something I do every day for all of eternity. I will never forget a single second of today. I do not have a picture to add to this entry but I did take something to remember this day. Here is a bookmark from the bookstore where we shared our first intimate experience. Never forget, Bella. I love you._

_Now and Always._

_Forever, Edward_


	5. Chapter 5

_**~*~ I do not own Twilight. But you know how much I love borrowing the characters for my own pleasure! ~*~**_

_****A/N** Lemon Warning for this chapter *** Hope everyone had a great New Years!.. I had a long weekend at work, but I am here and writing, so this should be a good week for "Forever, Edward". This is a long one, hope you enjoy it ! Edward sure did * wink * Thanks for reading, Review Please ! ****_

_Dear Bella,_

_Today was a nice, quiet day. You wanted to get some cleaning done around the house and make sure everything was in order before you move in to our house. I helped you clean and organize some things, and get some paperwork in order. Then I watched you move around in the kitchen, as you cooked a few meals to freeze for Charlie. You are so happy when you cook, you are self aware. You are in your element, very sure of yourself. It's so good to see you like that. I was more than happy to help, when you became overwhelmed. I enjoyed our time in the kitchen today, I really liked helping you cook, just don't ask me to eat it. Please. _

_We missed our family game and movie night last night, so Emmett declared tonight official. I left for a little while, so you could have a quiet dinner with Charlie. I cleaned up our room a little bit and I made plenty of room for all of your things. Alice being Alice, renovated so that now we have an enormous walk in closet. The left side is yours and the right side is mine. I am so happy to see all these small changes, to be able to share things with you. It makes everything more real to me. When I was finished, I ran out with my brothers for a quick hunt, then home again to take a shower. _

_I came back for you around seven o'clock. I heard you inside before I stepped up to the door, you were bouncing around nervously on the couch. I knocked on the door and you came running out to me, almost falling out the front door. I reached out to catch you and wrapped my arms protectively around you. I was automatically on the defensive, I felt an overwhelming need to protect you. You threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, if I were human, you probably would have knocked me clear off the porch. I was scared, thinking something was wrong to get such a strong reaction from you. But you said you just missed me and that you always feel anxious when I'm not with you. You said you feel like half of you is missing, when we aren't together. I was very happy to hear those words from you, Bella. That is exactly how I feel when we are apart. _

_When we went inside, Charlie had suggested that since we were having a family night, and we would be married in less than two weeks time anyway, that you spend the night at our house. I was jumping for joy on the inside. I didn't hear any warning in his thoughts, although I was a bit distracted with you in my arms like that. I was so excited but had to keep a straight face while I promised Charlie not to worry, that I would keep you safe. He nodded in agreement, shook my hand and thanked me for taking such good care of you. Then he called me son. That meant so much to me, especially after everything we have been through. Charlie's thoughts matched his words, I knew he meant it. I can't even tell you how happy I am to be in his good graces. _

_We went up to your room, where you began packing a bag of clothes and things you would need. I laid on your bed, just watching you. I love watching you. You lose yourself in your thoughts, and you look incredible. You glanced over at me, but turned quickly saying you couldn't be distracted, so you wouldn't forget anything. I told you to just bring over a whole bunch of stuff, it would be less to pack over the next week or so. So, you agreed, and we packed up a few bags of your things, clothes, books, etc… I am beyond ecstatic that in less than two weeks time, we will be married and living together. We can spend as much time as we want together. We carried your stuff down, said goodnight to Charlie and headed home. _

_When we got there, Emmett was already waiting outside for us. He was showing more enthusiasm and excitement, than a kid on Christmas morning. I laughed to myself and brought all of your things up to our room. Once we were settled in, we all sat down in the dining room and debated over which game would be played first. The popular vote was for trivial pursuit. After a long hour, Alice was declared the winner. I had dealt with being called a cheater, and it was assumed I was looking through their thoughts to see the answers. Which, to be perfectly honest, I would never do intentionally. But I noticed Alice didn't take any flack for seeing the future and what the answers would be. Hmmmm, fair? I think not! _

_After the game was over, we all sprawled out in the living room to watch a movie. Alice and Jasper took one of the couches and laid across it, Emmett and Rosalie sprawled out on a bunch of pillows on the floor in front of the TV. Carlisle and Esme snuggled on the recliner chair and you and I took the other couch, by the fireplace. The argument over which movie to watch was longer than the length of the movie we finally did see. It was just nice to be all together. I couldn't tell you which movie we decided on and watched, because I was watching you. I can't seem to take my eyes off of you. I watched you laugh, it was the best sound in the world at that moment. I watched you concentrate and then try not to laugh when Emmett would voice his infamous line "I don't get it". You watched most of the movie, and then you started to fall asleep in my arms, so I carried you upstairs to our room. _

_Once upstairs, I layed you down in our bed. You opened your eyes and looked up at me and smiled a beautiful smile that I know is just for me. You reached your arms out and I gently hovered above you, dipping my head down to kiss you softly. You murmured something I couldn't quite make out even with my extremely sensitive vampire hearing, and then sighed. I rolled to lie next to you, moved your hair so I could see your gorgeous face better and asked you what was wrong. I should have had some idea as to what you were thinking. I knew you would want to keep pushing our boundaries after what happened yesterday. I knew you would want more, I want more too, Bella. I always want more of you. _

_You said you wanted to make me feel good now, since I had made you feel so good yesterday. That you wanted to return the favor. You said you wanted to feel me, touch me and watch me cum the way I had gotten to do with you. As soon as the words left your mouth, I was impossibly hard and throbbing for you. I was overwhelmed by my own level of lust and need. I always have these feelings for you, but I keep them in the back of my mind, to keep me from acting like a caveman when I am near you. But as soon as you feel and show me these things, the thoughts break through to the front of my mind and all I see is you. All I want, is you. _

_I let out a small growl and grabbed a handful of your hair and buried my face there, to calm myself down as much as I could. I ran my hand down your left side, slowly making my way to your hip. I stopped there, then grabbed you, lifted your leg and hitched it over my own hip so you could feel just how much I want you. You moaned softly and put your hands on my face, bringing me down to kiss you again. As I kissed you, small whimpers escaped your lips and it pushed me closer to the edge. I needed to feel you again. Our kissing was soft and slow at first and then turned into desperate, frenzied and somewhat sloppy kissing. Our wet lips crashed against one anothers, burning for more of each others taste. My hands were all over your body, trying to press you closer to me. I felt you trying to move me so I let you. You pushed me back against the headboard so I was sitting up against it. You crawled into my lap, never breaking our kiss. You positioned your legs on either side of mine while your chest and stomach pressed against mine. You grabbed the hair at the back of my neck and tugged on it roughly. We were both moaning each others name and begging for more. _

_You tugged at the bottom of my t-shirt, so I pulled it up and over my head, throwing it to the floor. Your hands were all over my chest and stomach, staring at me like I was a God or something. You had a worshipping look in your eyes. Our eyes met and the passion that was in your eyes burned into me. I crashed my lips to yours again and held you impossibly closer. I didn't bother unbuttoning your blouse, I just ripped it very slowly off of you and threw it to the floor next to mine. I let my hands explore your back, your sides and hips and of course then turned my attention to your front. I grabbed your shoulders and dipped my finger under your bra straps, just tracing a line of flesh under them. I didn't take it off though I really wanted to. There should be some surprises left for our wedding night, after all. _

_I ghosted my fingers all over your neck and down your throat, and traced the edge of lace on your breasts before I cupped them and squeezed gently. My thumb passed over your nipple which rewarded me with a moan from you. I told you I couldn't wait to see all of you, but tonight was reserved for other things. You giggled and told me you love me and you couldn't wait either. I continued to ghost my fingers along your perfect skin, down to your stomach. I held you off my lap slightly, tilting you back so I could bend forward, still embracing you in my lap. I kissed a trail down your body, licked your skin and kissed your belly button. I licked a trail down to the waist of your pants, where I dropped a wet kiss. I looked up at you to find you panting, with your head thrown back. Your hair was hanging down behind you and was barley touching the bed between my legs. I wrapped my arms around you once more and you sat up straight, straddling me once again. Our lips met and this time it was me who was whimpering. I couldn't believe that the Goddess in my arms chose me. _

_You asked me in between kisses to touch you, I agreed saying it was my pleasure. I dropped my hands to the button of your jeans, opened it slowly and tugged on the zipper. You wasted no time, standing up above me swiftly and pushing them down and off your legs. You sat back down and straddled my lap again and this time I could feel the dampness between your legs. The scent of your arousal could make me insane. There is nothing else like it. It's divine. I rubbed my hands up your thighs and grabbed at the juncture of your hips. Our kissing was becoming fast, needy and not keeping any sensual rhythm. We were on the edge and needed more. I lowered my right hand to the edge of your panties, lingering there to make sure I was granted entry. I was. I hooked my finger under the seam of your panties and dragged it slowly across your wetness. As soon as I felt how wet you were for me, my steel hard cock twitched, which granted me with yet another delicious moan from you. _

_I flicked my finger against you a few times, up and down, spreading your wetness around. You whispered in my ear for me not to stop. I watched your face as I slid one finger slowly inside you. I pushed slowly until I was deep inside, then held my hand there, just relishing in the moment. Your eyes rolled back into your head and your mouth dropped open in awe. Your lips were shiny and swollen from our kissing. I stared up at your mouth. I will never get used to your flawless beauty or the feeling of you, it is beyond incredible. I licked my lips and attacked yours again. I started thrusting my finger in and out of you. You were breathing out my name in between gasps and cries of pleasure. Then, right before I thought you were going to have an orgasm, you grabbed my hand and held it still. I thought I had hurt you or you wanted me to stop. But then, you looked down at me, licked your lips and smirked. The sight made me want to rip your clothes off, throw you down and fuck you into oblivion. You said my name with determination, winked at me and told me not to move my hand. I was anxious to know what you wanted, but disappointed to be told not to move, all I wanted was to make you cum. My dissatisfaction didn't last long, it was flipped completely around and I had reached levels of desire I never thought existed. What you did next was so sexy, so erotic and intense that I almost wasn't sure if it was really happening or if it was another one of my fantasies playing out in my mind. _

_You held my hand in place and rocked back and forth on my finger. You were grinding on my hand harder and faster as you coated my finger with your wetness. The palm of my hand was rubbing against your most sensitive spot, while my finger slid in and out of you. Over and over again. We were both moaning and breathing heavy in between our wet, open mouthed kisses. I sucked on your bottom lip and bit down gently every time you pulled my hair and ground yourself harder against me. You begged me to add a second finger inside you, so I did. Your moans became louder and more erratic. You were so close. You started trembling, sweat was building on your forehead, your heart rate was faster, your blood was pumping harder causing the femoral artery in your thigh to pulse against me, taunting me, making me even crazier. I pushed through the clouded haze that was filling my mind and really took in the sight before me. You were in complete control. You were using me to get yourself off. You were fucking my hand. It was the single, most erotic and sexiest thing I had ever experienced. I had never even imagined anything so amazing. I curled my fingers inside you, to stroke that sweet, sensitive spot that makes your legs shake. You were becoming limp, I wrapped my free arm around you, placing my hand in the small of your back, holding you to me. You arched your back, pushing your beautiful lace covered breasts right into my face. Your head fell back and you let out an extremely sexy sound, almost a growl. You were purring and shaking in my arms. I decided you had control long enough, I thrusted my fingers deeper inside you, still curled, stroking your g- spot. I was fingering you so hard that you had no choice but to give in to the ecstasy that was waiting for you. Simultaneously, your muscles clenched around me, you screamed my name and you came around my fingers. Your thighs were covered in your juices, my pants were wet from you and all I wanted to do was lick you clean. _

_I flipped you over so you were lying beneath me on the bed. I pulled my fingers out of you slowly and licked them clean. I moved down your body and spread your legs wide. I licked up both of your thighs until I came to the edge of your panties. I cleaned all of your cum off of you. Delicious. I looked up at you, and then I gave you one soft kiss on top of your soaked panties. _

_I was hard and throbbing on top of you, I rubbed against you for some friction as I made my way back to your face and neck. I started kissing you fiercely as I saw how much you enjoyed your own taste on my lips. You reached your hand down between us to rub over my throbbing erection. I gasped at your touch and pulled away slowly to look at you. I saw nothing but love, admiration, devotion and passion. I had to remind myself that now was not the right time to make love to you for the first time. I started to pull away, but you held me firmly in place with every ounce of energy you could find. You stroked me on the outside of my jeans again. I moaned into your neck. You moved slightly so I would pick my head up to look at you. You opened the button and zipper of my jeans while kissing me in long, deep kisses. I rested a hand on either side of your head, rubbing against you some more. You slipped your hand into my boxer briefs and stroked me again from head to base then back up. I almost collapsed on top of you. I moved to wrap both my arms around you tightly. I pressed my forehead to yours. The warmth and tenderness of your touch sent me into another universe. You pushed my pants and underwear further down my hips. You wrapped your hand around my cock again and rubbed it against your wet, panties. Heaven. I rocked against you, slowly a few times, desperate for release. We both moaned and whispered each others names again. Repeatedly. I began to thrust against you harder and faster, which effectively sent you soaring head first into another orgasm. You were gripping my hair, pressing your hands against my chest, then trailed behind me and scratched all the way down my back. You screamed my name and I couldn't hold on any longer, I didn't want to hold on. I wanted to let go, I wanted to cum with you. We kissed, roughly while I hissed your name. One final thrust against you sent me into an earth shattering orgasm. I looked down as I rubbed against you and watched intently as I came all over your panties and stomach. A fierce growl that was building deep in my chest, escaped my mouth and you shivered under me. _

_We lay silently for a few minutes, trying to gather some composure. I rolled onto my side and faced you, you did the same. I told you I loved you. I promised to make our wedding night even more incredible than this one had been. I will keep that promise, Bella. I want you to remember all of our nights together, but that one will be simply miraculous. Trust me. _

_I cleaned you up and pulled my pants back on, but you just snuggled into me. You fell asleep in my arms shortly after. You are still not wearing any pants, so every now and then I trace the edge of your panties with one finger and you moan so softly and whisper my name. It is an amazing feeling, knowing even in your sleep, I am the one you want. _

_We are getting closer and closer each day, not just intimately. We have always had a strong bond between us, but now it is unbreakable. I love you so much Bella, I don't think there has ever been a love like ours. _

_Thank you for everything Bella. Thank you for letting my give you pleasure. Thank you for letting me love you the way you deserve to be loved. Thank you for giving me pleasure and loving me the way I love you. Thank you, for you. _

_I hope you enjoy reading about us like this. Reliving it, and writing to you this way, is nothing short of amazing. A few months ago, I would have been embarrassed to talk to you this way, but not now. We were made for this, Love. We are too perfect together to not be so sensual. I plan to show that each day. _

_I am going to lie down next to you now while you sleep, you will probably sleep in late. We don't have to be anywhere so we can stay in bed as long as you like. I imagine we will have a very relaxing day in bed. The picture I added to this page is of the whole family relaxing in the living room, from earlier. I set up the camera to take the picture once we were all seated before the movie. I wanted you to remember family time as well as our time. Good day My Love. _

_Very Truly Yours,_

_Forever, Edward__eav_


	6. Chapter 6

_**~*~ I do not own Twilight. I just borrow the characters for my own pleasure ~*~**_

_****A/N** So ….. how am I doing so far? I hope you are all enjoying a peak into Edwards thoughts. I know that last one was a little long, but I'm sure you didn't mind too much :) Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming ! ( no pun intended ;) ) **_

_Dear Bella, _

_Today was another great day. It started out calm and relaxing. You woke up around ten o'clock, we went downstairs and I made you some breakfast. You sat at the counter in the kitchen, I stood across from you while you ate. Emmett came down and sat next to you, laughing and joking about how horrible your food smelled. I thought it was hilarious when you smashed some French toast in his mouth when he went to complain again. The look on his face was priceless. He was out in the yard, trying to get it all out for at least twenty minutes. He deserved it. It was a good laugh, for us anyway. _

_After breakfast, you and I took a walk, nowhere special, just wandering around in the woods. We walked and talked and laughed, we were happy and content. I stopped us and kissed you a few times, and then you would smack my arm playfully and tell me not to start something I can't finish. You are such a tease. So we kept walking, I picked you some wild flowers and we brought them home so you could put them in a vase for our room. You had a small blue ribbon weaved into the front of your sweater that you said wasn't necessary, so you took it out and wrapped it around the base of the flowers, like a bouquet. They are now sitting next to our bed, displayed proudly. _

_Once inside the house again, we decided to go back upstairs and think about how we were going to decorate our room once you were all moved in. As we were discussing furniture placement, Esme walked in and informed us that she was doing some remodeling to the house so that we would have more room for comfort. We told her it wasn't necessary, but she insisted. So, starting tomorrow the family will begin the remodel and have it all finished within a few days. They want to do this for us, so we gratefully accepted their proposal. You warned Alice, that our closet was already big enough and to leave that section of the room alone. You can be quite intimidating sometimes, Bella, even to a group of vampires. _

_You skipped lunch today, saying you were still full from breakfast. I took pride in knowing I had done well with it. You asked if I would play my piano for you for a while. I was more than happy to. You sat in my lap, my arms stretched out around you to hit the keys, while I attempted to teach you your lullaby. Your fingers rested on top of mine as I played. I didn't need to look at the keys, I looked at you instead. You looked so beautiful, and peaceful. You were in awe of my playing for you. I had to keep my thoughts in check, my wandering mind had me lifting you up and making love to you on my precious piano. I made a mental note to provide that opportunity to us in the future. The near future. _

_After a few minutes, you leaned your head back to rest on my shoulder and closed your eyes, just listening to the notes. Your lips turned up the slightest amount as I reached the climax of the song and then you tilted your head to the side as it neared the end. A slight frown appeared when it was finished. I know how much you love your lullaby, I always wondered if you understood the emotion in the piece. It represents the time from when I first met you and the first time I told you I loved you. It begins with soft, shy notes that represent my fear. Fear of feeling something new, feeling human emotions. Fear of getting too close to you, of hurting you. Fear of admitting my love for you, and having you run away from me. I was afraid I would lose you, once you knew what I was. Then the piece changes into something more confident. __**I**__ was more confident when I realized you were meant for me. That there was never anyone else, nor will there ever be. The climax of the piece represents you and me, in our meadow, declaring our love for one another. _

_In that moment, I felt I had won the ultimate prize, I had conquered the world. I had __**you**__. It was the best moment of my life and the grouping of heavily played notes represent the emotions that went through me in that moment. Fear, anxiety, sadness, grief, sorrow, happiness, friendship, love, devotion, loyalty, admiration, trust, passion. My soul found its way back to me that day, Bella. You did that. _

_The fear was for not knowing the outcome. The anxiety was from the anticipation of what was happening between us. The sadness was for the realization that you fell in love with a monster. The grief and the sorrow were for the future mourning of your human life, I knew I could never be without you. Friendship, because you were the first human I had ever wanted to spend time with in my vampire life. Love. That one little word doesn't even begin to describe my feelings for you. Devotion and loyalty because I knew immediately that I was yours forever, even if you didn't want me, I would always belong to you. Admiration. I admire everything about you, Bella. The way you see life, how strong and independent you are. How you stand by your decisions and embrace whatever life throws at you. Trust, for your easy acceptance of what I am, and wanting to be with me regardless of the danger. Passion was the intense feeling of want and desire. I wanted to hold you in my arms and never let go. I desired you in every way a man desires a woman, only stronger due to my vampiric emotions. Everything is stronger, more intense. I was passionate in the way I wanted you, the way I love you. I was passionate in my need to protect and take care of you. I will do anything for you, Bella. Anything, always. Please remember that. Whatever you want, name it and it's yours. I don't need to have lyrics to go along with your lullaby, Bella, the notes are the words. I hope you can hear them. _

_We laid down on the chase lounge together, while I read to you for a while. You fell asleep curled against me. I didn't want to move you, so we stayed there for your nap. You woke up only half an hour later and decided you wanted to go upstairs. I followed you up the stairs and you explained how you had never really looked through all of my things. You wanted to see things that I have had for a long time. I showed you some things that I liked, kept around for a memory or whatever the case may be. Then I walked into the back of my closet and pulled out a now antique looking keepsake box. I explained to you how it held the most important things to me, my most prized possessions. _

_You opened the box to find a picture of me with my parents, when I was human. It was from a newspaper, during one of their charity events. Tears fell from your eyes and I moved over to you quickly, not knowing what had upset you. You said you wished you could have known me during that time. You said you felt sad for me having to go through losing my family, and that you wished I didn't have to do it alone, that you would have been there for me if you could. You wished I hadn't been alone all those years. Please don't feel sad for me. The whole time I was alone, it was because I was waiting for you. _

_There were also some things that belonged to my parents, jewelry, watches, trinkets and the deed to my parents' house in Chicago. I still own it. I rent it out and keep it up to date and well kept. I could never get rid of it. There was also a picture of you. You are the most important thing to me, so part of you belongs in that box with the rest of my life. You put down the box and jumped into my lap. We just sat there holding each other for a while. It was perfect. _

_My brothers came into our room after a while, they wanted to know if I would like to join them hunting tonight. I declined and said I wanted to be with you, but you insisted I go and spend some time with them too. I agreed, only if you promised to stay over again. You went to tell Alice you would be staying again for a "girl's night". Carlisle was terrified at the idea of being home alone with all the women after hearing Alice squeal about manicures and whatever else she was planning to do with you all. So, he planned to come hunting with us. _

_I made you dinner, sat with you while you ate then cleaned up at vampire speed before you had a chance to pick up your plate. You were only mildly annoyed at that. I asked you if you were sure you wanted me to go, you said I should, even though you really didn't want to be away from me. I understood of course. I don't want to be away from you either. I hugged you and kissed you slowly. Then I looked down at you and said I would be home while you were asleep. You reached up on your toes to kiss me and I pulled you up to my level. You giggled and squirmed out of my hold. We both laughed and I kissed you again quickly, saying goodnight. I headed out to hunt with the rest of the Cullen men. _

_When I came home, you were asleep in our bed and I couldn't help the joy I felt to see you here, safe and sound. I showered quickly and crawled into bed with you, wrapping my arms around you. You sighed, reached up to kiss me and said welcome home in a sleepy voice. I kissed you once more and you snuggled into my chest where you remain now, even as I write to you. You will be awake again soon, and we can start another day together. You will probably want to go home to see Charlie for a bit. I know he has off today, so we can spend some time with him. _

_I am giving you this picture tonight as a reminder that you are my life. You are the only thing that matters to me. I want to give you a part of me that you never knew. It is the picture you found earlier of me and my parents, from my human life. This picture means a lot to me, Bella. I want you to have it. Please keep it, along with my heart and keep them safe. _

_Eternally yours,_

_Forever, Edward _


	7. Chapter 7

_**~*~ Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight. I just borrow the characters for a lil' fun ~*~**_

_****A/N okay, here's the next one, I hope you all enjoy it. Working on the next one, hopefully I'll have it up by tomorrow ! Review Please ****_

_Dear Bella,_

_I have to admit, I was a little sad and maybe even jealous that I would have had to share you today. The plan was to head over to spend some time with Charlie, and then I would leave so you two could have some alone time. I was not looking forward to being away from you again, to say the least. But, luck was on my side today. I was relieved when Charlie called to say he was going to go fishing instead of hanging around with us. I'm selfish, I know, but I really wanted to be alone with you today. _

_I snuck out of bed so I could shower and get dressed before you woke up. I put on some jeans and the black long sleeve t-shirt, that I know you love. I lay beside you once again so I could twirl some of your hair around my fingers. I kissed you a few times until your eyes opened. You smiled, said good morning and almost kissed me back but then shot up almost at vampire speed, which was pretty impressive. You playfully yelled at me for kissing you with morning breath. I grabbed you and held you down, tickling your sides and kissed you before you had the chance to protest again. You laughed and tried to hit me with a pillow, which I caught and threw back at you. You huffed out of the room and headed for the kitchen. I followed right behind you, enjoying the view. _

_You made your own breakfast this morning, I wanted to do it but you insisted that I sit down and just keep you company. At first I thought maybe I wasn't such a good cook but before I could even voice my concern, you walked over to me, kissed me, told me you loved my cooking and that you were just in the mood to cook. I swear, sometimes I think you're the mind reader. _

_After breakfast, you went upstairs to take a shower and get dressed. I waited for you in our bedroom, trying my hardest, not to join you in there. I was looking all around the room for something to distract myself. Lying next to your book was your iPod touch that Alice and Jasper gave you for your birthday. I grabbed it, thinking I could make you a playlist of all the songs that remind me of you. As soon as I saw the home screen I smiled and just stared at it. It was a picture of the two of us dancing at prom. I've seen the picture before, Alice had taken it and gave us both a copy. I thought back to that night, and relived every moment we spent dancing. You were absolutely breathtaking that night. _

_When you came out of the bathroom, you laughed at the expression on my face. You joked and said I looked adorable and that I must have been thinking about something pretty good to look the way I did. I heard the playful tone in your voice and decided to play with you a little too. I looked down your body slowly, then back up taking in your appearance. I licked my lips and told you I was thinking about you, that I'm always thinking about you. You blushed for me, dropped your head down and looked completely embarrassed. Then it was my turn to tease you for the look on your face, and then flashed your favorite crooked smile for good measure. _

_I walked slowly over to you, put my right hand on your hip and pulled you close. I tangled my left hand in your hair, reached down and trailed kisses from behind your ear, down to your collar bone, up your neck and across your jaw. You smelled absolutely amazing. Your natural scent, plus the strawberry scent from your shampoo lingered in your hair. I nuzzled into the crook of your neck just breathing you in, and then my lips finally found yours. We kissed slowly at first, soft and gentle. Then building up to something more intense and passionate, while grabbing at each other trying to get as close as possible. The world could have come to an end and I wouldn't have noticed. I was lost in you. Our lips moved perfectly together as our bodies molded to each others. You shivered slightly and whispered my name. I was desperate for more. I love the way your body responds to me, always ready for me. Every time I touch you, your heart beat falters and your breathing hitches. You relax into me because you are finally home when you are wrapped in my arms. I know that feeling, very well. I am finally complete when I'm holding you. _

_Our kissing became heated, our breathing was heavy and your heart was ready to beat right out of your chest. I pulled away from our kiss, and walked you backwards to the bed. I held you close as I lowered you onto your back. As I hovered over you, I began to kiss you slowly again. I kissed your mouth and traced your lips with my tongue. Your soft moans shot through me like electric shockwaves. I took your bottom lip into my mouth and sucked lightly, releasing it with a soft pop. You latched onto my hair and pulled yourself up closer to me while planting your mouth firmly on mine. Your hands fell from my hair, and pulled at my shirt, so I lifted it off and threw it to the floor. You traced soft patterns down my neck and my back scratching lightly. It felt incredible to have your hands on me that way. You left a trail of warm tingling in your path around my hips to my stomach. Your fingers paused on the muscles in my abdomen for a minute, just kneading and feeling me. Then you dropped your hands slowly trailing down to the top of my jeans. My breath caught in my throat as you reached for my button, popping it open. I looked into your eyes as you pulled my zipper down and traced the waistband of my underwear with your finger. _

_I crashed my lips to yours and settled my lower half between your legs. I slowly, lowered my upper body down to press against yours so I was holding you as close as I possibly could. A soft growl escaped my throat as your hand stroked me on the outside of my underwear. You hummed in pleasure at the sound, and then stroked me again. I lowered my pants and underwear down passed my hips. You grabbed onto my swollen erection and began to stroke me faster. I had to lean off of you, I was afraid I would crush you. I had one arm stretched out on either side of your head, and I began thrusting into your hand to match your motion. You have no idea how amazing it feels to be with you like that. You make me feel so good, beyond incredible. I was so close, I could feel the pressure building deep down in my stomach. I knew it would only be moments until I exploded in your hand. _

_You slowed your pace, earning a confused look from me. You looked at me with that breathtaking smile that I can never ignore. A smile gracing my features as well, you told me you loved me. I told you I loved you too. You grabbed my face and brought me down to kiss me. Your hands pushed on my chest and I sat up, curious to see what you wanted. You sat up and came at me, spinning me around so my back was against the pillows. You kissed my lips so softly and rubbed your hands down my chest. You slowly started kissing down my chest, passed my stomach and reached my throbbing erection. I tried to stop you and told you that you didn't have to do that. You said you wanted to take care of me the way I deserve to be pleasured. I insisted again that you didn't have to, and that I just wanted to please you. Then you looked up at me with sad eyes and asked me how I would feel if I wanted to pleasure you and were asked not to. You had me, there was nothing I could say or do except lay back and receive whatever you wanted to give me. _

_I watched as you lowered your head, looked up at me with those beautiful eyes and took me into your mouth. It felt so warm and soft, I felt like I was in another world. I had no idea anything could ever feel that good. I reached to grab the back of your head but thought better of it for fear of hurting you, so I grabbed fistfuls of the sheets beside me. I tried to keep my eyes on you, but the levels of pleasure were so intense that my eyes rolled back into my head and I couldn't keep them open. Your mouth moved up and down my length at a sinfully slow pace at first, then faster as I responded to you. My moans and growls filled the room along with the scent of your arousal. I could taste you in the air, so sweet and delicious. I felt myself grow impossibly harder. My throbbing erection pulsed and with one more stroke of your mouth, I came forcefully. You swallowed every drop, clearly enjoying yourself. Once I was cleaned off, you licked your lips and smiled up at me, proud of yourself. All I could do was stare in wonder at your beauty, and think about how lucky I am to have you. _

_You crawled up to me and snuggled into my side as I calmed down. I turned to face you and kissed you softly, telling you once more how much I love and adore you. We lay together like that for a while, just being together. You told me that you think my growling is sexy, which confused me a little since it was supposed to be scary to a fragile, little human such as yourself. You laughed and said I wasn't scary at all, which sounded like a challenge to me. I growled fiercely and flipped you over at vampire speed, all you did was giggle uncontrollably. The sound was music to my ears, and all I could do was laugh with you. We rolled around playfully for a while, tickling each other and joking around, it was perfect. _

_After a while, we decided to read a book, taking turns reading to each other. It was an amazing way to relax. Then after a while, we watched a movie and played chess, I beat you this time. No one bothered us all day. We went downstairs so you could have some dinner, then we headed back to your house so we could spend a little time with Charlie once he got home. I pretended to leave around ten o'clock. I was in your bed waiting for you ten minutes later, after I dropped the Volvo off at our house and ran back. I just lay in your bed while you took your shower and got ready for sleep. When you joined me, you had the brightest smile on your face. You said you loved walking into the room and seeing me lying there, waiting for you. I'll always be here Love, I promise. _

_You crawled into bed, I wrapped my arms around you, your back to my chest, and I hummed your lullaby until you fell asleep. I just held you for a while before I started writing. I love you so much, Bella. I am the luckiest man in the world to have you sleeping in my arms every night. I don't know what I ever did to deserve you, but I promise I will always be grateful. In a few short weeks, you will be my wife and I get to keep you forever. _

_I wanted to give you this picture of our closet. I know you are not crazy about the overwhelming size of it, but it means a lot to me because it is the first part of our home that is both yours and mine. One side has your things in it and the other has mine, with a wall of pictures of the two of us down the middle. I am so happy to finally share my life with you, this was just the first step. _

_It is still very early, and I am smiling at the thought of holding you for a few more hours until the sun comes up so we can start another day together. Sleep well my Love. _

_I'll love you always,_

_Forever, Edward_


	8. Chapter 8

**~*~ Unfortunately, I Do Not Own Twilight, I am just having some fun with Edward *wink* ~*~**

****A/N** Okay, sorry this took so long, RL is annoying sometimes, hope you enjoy ! Review Please and spread the word about Forever, Edward ….. Thanks xoxoxo**

_Dear Bella,_

_I am writing to you now from our bed, in our room. You are spending some girl time with Alice, Rosalie and Esme. Alice wanted to take you shopping for things to pack for our honeymoon. I was very annoyed with her earlier, but she promised we would have the whole day tomorrow with no interruptions. I miss you terribly, you have been gone for three hours now. I texted you a little while ago, you said you were having a good time but that you were ready to come home and be with me. I have a feeling it will be another few hours until you are home, in my arms. _

_I did a little bit of shopping myself today. I had to meet with a jeweler from Seattle, I am having something made for you. I will give it to you on our wedding night. It is very important to me and I know you will love it and cherish it the way I do. I have designed your Cullen crest. It was somewhat difficult for me to choose which piece of jewelry I would use for you. I didn't want to use a ring, you already have your engagement ring, and soon your wedding band. I didn't want to choose a bracelet because you love wearing your sapphire E & B charm bracelet that I gave you. I decided to make you a necklace. Initially I didn't want to because Alice and Rose wear their crest on a necklace. But, I decided it was the most practical and I knew I would make yours special, so it would be authentic and unique just for you. _

_Your crest is made of white gold and platinum, detailed with small sapphires. It rests on a thin platinum rope chain. It is dainty and elegant, and when you turn it over our names are intertwined in an elegant script. I can't wait to see it on you. I know it will look beautiful against your skin. In any past experiences, Carlisle was the one to design the crest and present it, being the head of the family. But I wanted to share this with you, it should be just us. I have waited a very long time for you Miss. Swan, you have no idea how much this means to me. I never thought I would have someone to present a family crest to, let alone a wife. You are my life, you are my best friend and my soul mate. I promise I will always be here for you and support you in anything you do. I will always love you and respect you. I will always put you first and do anything in my power to make you happy. You have my whole heart, forever._

_Hopefully you will be back soon, I wanted to have some time with you before we head over to your house. I thought we could spend some time in our meadow this afternoon. I just want to hold you in my arms and kiss you. I need you so much. When you're not here, I feel like I'm missing half of myself. I can't think straight, I feel anxious, nervous. I am not fully relaxed until you are safely in my arms. I miss you. _

_Once I got back, I spent some time with Jasper and Emmett doing some work outside. Carlisle had to work today, although I think that may have been arranged to avoid the chaos that we endured here. We had to clear out some trees and put in a new garden, with a gazebo. We are getting ready for our wedding. This, I was more than happy to do. I want to give you a beautiful memory, I will make it perfect for you, I promise. Alice gave out orders like a drill sergeant before you girls left this morning. She has very detailed plans for the outside and apparently it will take us at least a week to have the outside ready. I trust her, I'm sure it will be perfect. _

_It was interesting to have us out there, trying to be delicate with flowers and twinkling lights. You would have loved to have been there to see Emmett get tangled up in the strings of lights. Jasper was laughing so hard he fell to the ground. _

_There will be gold lights draped through the trees and the entire path of our driveway, leading up to the house, following a path into the garden and leading up to the reception area in the back of the house. We estimated roughly five hundred sets of lights. Even at vampire speed, that takes quite some time. We had to be sure not to break them and we spent at least an hour off and on untangling Emmett from his sets of lights. It was so funny Bella, you would have loved it. He was so mad, he was cursing and throwing his arms in the air. He was spinning around so many times trying to get out that he just wound himself even tighter in the mess. After the first fifty or so sets of lights, he gave up and stormed into the house. I haven't seen him since. I'm pretty sure Jasper and I will be finishing those lights on our own next time. _

_Other than that, I have been here waiting for you to come back to me. I took a shower and changed my clothes a little while ago, then came into our room so I could write to you. I really do enjoy doing this for you, it relaxes me. It gives me a chance to be alone with my thoughts and put them on paper for you, even though you won't read this for some time. I don't want you to lose a single day, even if nothing happens, and we have a boring day at home, I will write to you about it. We don't have to be doing anything, I just have to look at you and I'm happy. I'm content and peaceful when I am with you, no matter what we're doing. _

_I was just laying here and my mind traveled back to this morning, before you left. You were trying anything you could to get out of shopping. It was kind of funny to see you keep trying to come up with an excuse, just to have Alice yell up the stairs that your idea wouldn't work. That's one of the things you get used to, living with a psychic. _

_I really didn't want you to leave this morning, but it's good that you spend time with the rest of the family. They say I keep you all to myself and that I should let them have their sister more often. It's just so hard to be away from you, I do want you all to myself. It's especially hard to leave your side when you are trotting around our bedroom, wearing next to nothing. You were standing in the closet, wearing one of my shirts that was just long enough to reach the top of your thighs. Your hair was wild from sleep and you had a beautiful glow on your face from the morning sun creeping in through the windows. You looked incredibly sexy. I couldn't do anything but stare and watch your every move. You were looking for something to wear and then decided you didn't want to get dressed yet and you came over, bouncing back onto the bed and into my arms. I was more than happy to hold you. _

_You curled into me and asked me to whisk you away, through the window and run far away where Alice couldn't find you. We heard laughter come from downstairs, but I was seriously considering granting your request. You sighed and looked up at me and I was immediately lost in your eyes. The swirling chocolate brown with the slightest specs of gold held my gaze intently. Your eyes seem to hold so many secrets, there's always so much passion in them when you look at me. I leaned down to kiss you softly, just enjoying the tingling sensation that sparked as soon as my lips touched yours. Our lips parted slightly and I kissed you again, with a little more pressure and I wrapped my arms around you. I trailed one hand up your back, softly caressing your neck and moving up to tangle my fingers in your hair. My other hand traveled down to your waist and then trailed slowly down to your thigh. I ran my hand along the smooth skin and moved up under the hem of your shirt, gripping your hip and pulling you tighter against me. You gasped at the roughness that I grabbed you with and then moaned quietly into my mouth. You sat up, straddling my lap and twisted your fingers in my hair, pulling on it with pressure and it felt amazing. I could feel the arousal between your thighs, through your satin panties and I was instantly hard for you. I could smell your mouth-watering scent fill the air around us. I desperately wanted to taste you. You were grinding painfully slow on my lap, pressing against my straining erection and it was driving me crazy. I was momentarily dazed, watching you move so sensually was sinfully erotic. You were so turned on by how hard I was for you. You were moaning deliciously into our kisses and I couldn't stop myself from attacking your mouth. My hands were all over you and I needed so much more. Our kissing became frenzied and our touching incessant. Our moans and heavy breathing filled the room and it wasn't long before Alice was pounding on the door, dragging you away from me. I let out a loud, exasperated breath and pulled my hand through my hair in frustration. You sighed heavily, just as frustrated and fell back onto the bed, between my legs. You nudged me with your knee and smirked. I wanted to throw myself on top of you and hide you from the rest of the world. You just smiled up at me, gave me a wink and jumped out of bed. You said not to worry because, at least tomorrow we would be distraction free. I smiled and told you there would be absolutely nothing that could take me away from you tomorrow. We are going to have the entire day, just to ourselves. _

_You went to get dressed and Alice gave me a pointed look, then her thoughts invaded my head. She was mentally yelling at me to have more self control and to stop acting like a hormonal seventeen year old boy. I just gave her a playful smile while shrugging it off, walking passed her and right over to you by the closet. I leaned down, kissed you on the side of your mouth and slapped your ass as I walked out of the room. You giggled and I could almost hear Alice roll her eyes. _

_I walked downstairs to the kitchen and laughed at the look on Jaspers face. His thoughts were begging me to take it easy on the pent up sexual tension in the house. He looked as though he had been ripping his hair out all morning. I don't feel too bad though, I've had to deal with plenty of disturbing thoughts over the decades. I laughed again as I walked passed him and headed to the kitchen to get you some breakfast. _

_When you came downstairs, I almost fell to my knees. You were absolutely breathtaking. You were wearing an ivory colored satin blouse with a charcoal gray pencil skirt that reached just passed your knees, with black heals. Some of your hair was pinned up with a sapphire clip and the rest was falling passed your shoulders in soft waves. You looked as though you should be going to a fancy dinner party, rather than shopping with the girls. I could barely speak when you asked me if I thought you looked alright. I swallowed thickly and tried to form a coherent sentence, but the only thing that came out was a low purring sound that came up from deep in my chest. I noticed my body was drifting towards you and when I came within reach, I pulled you into my arms and kissed you like I had never kissed you before. I have never seen anyone, even come close to being as beautiful as you are. After that glorious kiss, your beautiful smile reached your eyes, all I could do was thank God you were mine. I was forced to release you when Alice plowed into the kitchen muttering something about being there before the stores open. Ridiculous. I was very unhappy about you walking away from me this morning, especially dressed like that. I had a random terrifying thought of how many men would be staring at you and thinking God knows what, and I insisted on going with you. Alice assured me everything would be fine and you would come back safely to me and it would be better if I didn't hear the thoughts of all those men. I guess she was right, I probably would have lost all self control. _

_You took your breakfast with you, thanked me and hugged me. I kissed you goodbye and watched you walk away from me, looking sinfully sexy in that outfit. I can't wait until you get home. I have been thinking about you in that all day. Especially when you bent down to pick up your cell phone that you dropped on your way out the door. That image is burned into my brain for all of eternity. Once again I had no words, all I could do was stare at you with my jaw dropped open. Oh, My Love, you have no idea what you do to me. _

_I'm glad I decided to write early today, now I can spend the entire night holding you. You should be home soon, so I will go downstairs to wait impatiently for your arrival. I don't have an actual picture for this page, but here is the design for your Cullen crest necklace. I drew this, thinking only of you. Of course, by the time you read this, you will already have it, but I thought you might like to see the original design. _

_Hopefully we still have time to visit our meadow for a while. Later on this afternoon we will be heading to your house to see Charlie. Tomorrow starts his week of night shifts, so you will be staying here with me after tonight. I am very excited for this week. We have some final wedding plans to go over and the rest is fun and relaxation. _

_I hope you have sweet dreams tonight, I will be holding you in my arms every moment. I love you Bella. _

_Always Yours,_

_Forever, Edward_


	9. Chapter 9

_**~*~ I Do Not Own Twilight. I just like having fun with Edward ~*~**_

_****A/N** Hello Everyone, First I want to say Thank You for all the amazing reviews! You guys are the best ;) I have a few side projects that I'm working on at the moment… **_

_**I am working on a collaboration with one of your favorite Ffn authors …who happens to be my designated Beta ;) … The lovely and amazing WoahNow. We are still in the beginning stages, so be on the lookout for that one ;) …you can check out WoahNow's amazing (lemon filled) story "Distracted" here…. **__**.net/u/2399562/WoahNow**_

_**Also, I am writing a o/s for Fandoms Fight the Floods. Check out the link. **__**. **_

_**I am also working on a o/s for Valentine's Day…. I think this one will make ~Bell Jacobsen~ very happy ;)**_

_**I have an entry for a contest, but please remember this contest is M rated for a reason… **__**.net/u/2599487/DirtyBJH00r_Contest**_

_**Okay, on with the story…. Hope you all enjoy it… I'm soooooo sorry it took so long to update, RL and all … I hope this makes up for it ;) …. ***Review Please*** … they make me extremely happy ;) xoxo**_

_Dear Bella,_

_I cannot even find the words to describe how amazing this day has been. I thoroughly enjoyed myself today… and I'm pretty sure you did as well. I was so happy to have you all to myself, knowing that we didn't have any time limits. I can't tell you, how much today meant to me. _

_You slept very peacefully last night, you didn't move an inch from my protective embrace. You woke up in my arms and a beautiful smile graced your face as I kissed the back of your neck. You turned to face me, kissed me quickly and jumped out of bed. I was disappointed that you didn't want to lay in my arms longer, but happy that you were excited to start our day together. _

_First, you went into the bathroom for a quick shower and then we headed downstairs so you could have something to eat. You packed a small bag, since most of your things are already moved into our house. I checked to make sure everything was locked up and I promised Charlie I would come by everyday to make sure everything was alright. You tried to convince me a few more times that we should stay a few nights, that we would have the whole house all to ourselves. Which believe me…. I would absolutely love to do, but I am ashamed to admit, I would not be able to control myself in the slightest. I would give in to the all consuming lust filled need I have for you and I would risk too much by doing so. _

_We stopped by the house briefly, to drop off your bag and to pick up a few things for our day out. We went for a long walk in the woods, you had lunch in the park then we headed straight for our meadow. I set up a blanket and we both settled into a comfortable position. I was sprawled out leaning up on my elbows and you were lying between my legs, leaning your head on my chest. We read a book together for a little while, taking turns like we usually do. It is becoming sort of a habit for us, and I love that we have that as one of our little things that is just for us. While it was your turn to read, I listened to your beautiful voice and I played with your hair. You have beautiful hair, so many shades of brown, cinnamon, mahogany, subtle red shimmers and the texture is amazing, I love running my fingers through it. _

_I found myself unable to concentrate on the story that you were telling, after I began to place soft kisses on the back of your neck. You were somewhat distracted every time I grabbed softly at your hair so I could tilt your head back for better access. I smiled to myself slightly when you would stutter your words or moan quietly before continuing to read. I was desperately in need of your mouth on mine. I reached to pull the book from your hands and set it in the grass beside us, while I tilted your head back with my other hand. I lowered my head down so I could capture your pouty lips with my own. Once our lips met, I felt that familiar humming of electricity flowing between us. _

_I wrapped both arms around you and hugged you tighter to my chest while I molded my mouth to yours for a searing kiss. You started to turn in my hold, so I loosened my grip and you turned to face me, wrapping your legs around my waist. You locked onto my hair with your fingers and kissed me with everything you had. You were moaning quietly along with my mumbled groans and purrs. _

_I felt your hips shift and you pressed into me with pressure, effectively grinding yourself right into my throbbing erection. It felt so good to have you in my arms that way. I wanted that moment to last longer but the animal inside me needed more. I fisted my hand in your hair as I kissed your lips, down to your throat and sucked on your neck, while my other hand roamed your body and locked onto your hip. I lowered my other hand to grip the other side and pulled you down against me, grinding us together for some friction. You moaned into my mouth and I felt a powerful surge of lust flow through me. It was unlike me to not be able to control myself, but you do have that effect on me. _

_I flipped us over so fast that you didn't even notice when it happened. I lowered you to your back in the grass as I hovered above you. I kissed you with so much passion that your breath was coming out in short gasps. I moved to your collarbone and pushed your shirt aside so I could have more of you to explore. You were wiggling beneath me, trying to push our bodies closer together and it made me lose whatever thread of control I was clinging to. _

_With a loud roar, I ripped your shirt from your body, exposing the lace covered breasts of a Goddess for me to have at my mercy. I looked down at your face, afraid I would have scared you, but all I saw in your eyes was burning passion. Your fingers tangled into my hair and pulled so hard, if I were human, it probably would have ripped right out. It felt amazing._

_You pulled my face down to meet yours and kissed my lips fiercely. I hooked my fingers underneath the straps of your bra and slowly lowered them off your shoulders. After licking and sucking on the hollow of your throat, I kissed a trail of ice across your shoulders and down both of your arms. You shivered so I tried to pull away, but you grabbed onto me and sat up slightly so that you could wrap your arms around my neck. I wrapped both of my arms around you and pulled you close to my chest. One hand wound itself into your hair and the other moved from the small of your back, up to the clasp of your bra, which I then popped open with a flick of my fingers. I didn't plan on doing it; and it was already too late once I noticed what I had done. I pulled back to look at you, your eyes were pleading with me to keep going. I had no intentions of being so bold, especially without permission. You are just too tempting. _

_I froze in place, waiting for you to say something, but you didn't. You took my hands in your own, placed them on the front of your bra, and we pulled it off together. I stared into your eyes the entire time, completely amazed that you wanted to give yourself to me. I told you I loved you and made promises of forever. I kissed your lips and trailed my fingers across your collarbone then spread my hand out and pressed against your chest, just feeling the rhythm of your fluttering heart. I trailed my finger down into the valley between your breasts, all the way down to your bellybutton, then back up tracing the smooth lines of your curves. I slid my hand across your ribs, and gripped your hip as I lowered my head down to place a soft kiss between your breasts. _

_I traced the curve of your left breast with my bottom lip as I stared into your eyes. I watched as your eyes fluttered closed and your breaths came out in short gasps. My left hand came up to cup the other one in my hand as I placed a soft kiss to the nipple of the left one. I squeezed the soft skin in my hand as my fingers came together to roll your nipple in between my fingers. I felt it harden at my touch and couldn't help myself any longer. I took your hard tip into my mouth and sucked lightly. I started moaning in to your body, enjoying your divine flavor. I felt my pants tighten and it became painfully restricting. I reached my hand down to unbutton my jeans, pulled down the zipper and moaned loudly at the whimper that left your lips. I reached into my jeans to put some much needed pressure against my throbbing erection. _

_At first I was embarrassed that I couldn't control myself and gave in to my hormonal sensations, but after seeing your reaction, it felt natural. I want you to know what you do to me, I want you to know how much I need you. _

_You arched into me, so you could rub yourself against my hand that was in my pants and it felt incredible. I jerked my hips forward for some friction and you immediately sneaked a hand into my jeans and traced my fingers with your own until you peeled them away, claiming my body as yours. You wrapped your hand around my length and stroked me slowly, but firmly. I growled quietly as I dragged my lips back up to meet yours. You were making the most delicious sounds I have ever heard, knowing that I am the one who makes those sounds come from your mouth is beyond amazing, and it's unfathomable. _

_I had one hand firmly attached to your right breast as I dropped my other hand down to the waist band of your jeans, and hooked my fingers inside. I was breathing heavily into our kisses, and was moaning desperately. I needed you so much in that single moment, it was like not being able to breathe unless I was close enough to you. I very nearly gave in to my desires; I wanted nothing more than to be inside you. You have no idea, Bella. I was so close to just losing the battle within myself, but I promised you a real honeymoon experience and I fully intend to give it to you. _

_I slid my hand down to brush against your panties, but it wasn't enough. I hooked my finger into the side and stroked you slowly, adding a little pressure. You were so wet, always ready for me. I dipped two fingers inside you and instantly felt relief. You gasped and squeaked out a wonderful sound that had me thrusting against you to relieve some of my own pressure. The scent of your sweet arousal filled the air around us so strongly that I could barely pick up the scents of the different flowers surrounding us. I took a moment to look into your eyes and I was suddenly stunned. The afternoon sun was casting a beautiful golden glow on your face and your hair. You looked so incredibly beautiful, like an angel, but more divine. _

_I looked down at my hand and then back at you; you noticed the look in my eyes and knew I had an idea forming. I pulled my fingers out of you slowly, watching your every reaction. You released your grip on me and I immediately missed your touch. I opened your jeans and slid them off, throwing them to the side. I pulled off your panties and added them to the pile of clothes lying in the grass. I leaned down to kiss your lips as you wrapped your arms around my neck and slid them down my chest as I pulled back slightly. I dipped down to kiss your neck, your throat, your breasts, your stomach, your hips and finally ended up an inch away from where I wanted to be the most. I kissed and sucked on your inner thigh as I rubbed my hand softly over your wet pussy. _

_Your nails scratched at the back of my neck and worked up to my hair as I got closer and closer. I looked up at you and found your head thrown back with your mouth open slightly, eyes clenched shut and you were holding your breath. I knew it was in anticipation of this new pleasure, and I wanted to make you feel good. I kept my eyes on you as I licked you in one long stroke all the way up to your clit, and then sucked on it lightly. You tasted like pure bliss. I think I may have even whimpered a little. Listening to your sexy moans and soft purrs was driving me on and I loved every single moment of it. _

_I thrusted my tongue inside you, lapping up your juices. Your legs started to quiver and your back tensed, I knew how close you were to your release. I kissed and sucked on your lips, biting down slightly. You were breathing out my name in short gasps; your head was turning from side to side, almost as if the pleasure was too much. I felt your muscles tighten and began fucking you with my icy tongue faster and deeper. I rubbed your sensitive clit with my thumb, adding to the building pressure of your orgasm. I lifted your thigh up over my shoulder as I forced my tongue deeper inside you and then licking up and down, drinking in your wetness. I spread your legs farther apart then licked and sucked on your clit as I slid one finger inside you, curling it to hit your sweet spot. _

_As you started to clench around my finger, I twisted it and angled to the side, adding even more pressure. Right before you were about to cum, I added a second finger and curled them just in time to send you higher into your orgasm. You screamed my name and begged me not to stop, like I would ever want to. I watched as you came around my fingers, in total admiration. You are an amazing creature, watching you cum is the most exquisite vision the world will ever witness. _

_Once you came down from your high, I slowly pulled my fingers out and leaned my head down once more to lick up every last drop. There are no words to describe your taste. The only thing I can say, is that you are fucking delicious. I looked up at you and found you moaning blissfully, your hair sprawled out on the grass all around you. You were stunning. You were glowing; your flawless skin was almost shimmering in the golden glow of the setting sun. I pulled myself up closer to you to kiss your glistening lips. You groaned when you tasted yourself on my lips. I pressed myself into you and jerked my hips forward, needing my own release. You pushed my jeans and boxers off my hips to free my straining erection. I wouldn't let you wrap your hands around me, I needed something more. _

_I knew I had to be careful, I couldn't let myself slip inside you. I needed to feel you, I needed to feel your wet pussy and I couldn't wait another minute. I pressed my cock against your slick folds and slowly pushed upwards, feeling every inch get coated in your juices. I have never felt anything so amazing; I can't even imagine what it will feel like to actually be inside you completely. I felt that wonderful tightness in my stomach and it was as if the world stopped moving. It was just you and me, nothing else was real, only us. I looked into your eyes and I knew I would always love you, always worship you and please you. I captured your lips with mine for a deep, intense and earth shattering kiss. All it took was a few strokes against you and I was growling and hissing your name. You wrapped your arms around my neck as I kissed you passionately. I wrapped both arms around you and held you impossibly close. I thrusted against you a few more times until I had reached my own orgasm. I pulled back slightly, reached down to stroke my steel length against you. I watched as I exploded onto your pussy, and across your stomach. I growled fiercely, and watched as my cum dripped down your thighs. _

_We lay in each other's arms for a short while and watched the sun go down. I gave you my shirt since I had destroyed yours… I am truly sorry about that by the way. We walked together into the twilight, and then I carried you as it grew darker. Once we got home, I made you some dinner and played my piano for you. You wanted to hear your lullaby and I wanted to play it. We had an amazing day together today and I was so grateful that the family was out of town. No interruptions, no distractions, just us being us. I know we have forever, but I still wish I could savor every moment with you. I adore you my Love. You are the most precious thing in the world to me and I would do anything for you, always. _

_I must say, we have come a long way since we decided to explore each other intimately without having sex. I am terrified that I will let you down; I really do want it to be special for you. I pray to God every day that I have the strength to hold out until our wedding night. And to be honest, you don't exactly make it easy for me. You are too beautiful for your own good. _

_We had a great night, just relaxing on the couch watching a movie until you were ready for bed. I carried you up the stairs and slid us both into bed. You fell asleep in my arms in less than five minutes, you were exhausted. I'm holding you now with one arm as I write. I keep looking down at you and smiling. You never seem to mind how cold my body is, you just snuggle closer. Writing about us like this, reliving it, is almost torture. You are asleep and I am sitting here replaying everything that we did over and over again. I can't wait until you wake up, I am so ready for you right now. Hopefully, you won't sleep in too late, the sun is already coming up. _

_I took this picture out of a frame in our room earlier, when you were in the shower. I knew I wanted to add it to your journal, so I hid it in the desk drawer until you fell asleep. It is a picture of me sitting down at my piano. You said it was your favorite picture of me. Alice took the picture one night about three weeks ago, and said I would need it for something. I guess she was right. Alice will be Alice._

_Tomorrow will probably be a lazy day at home, so far we have no plans, which is fine with me. I would love to stay in bed with you all day. Sleep well my Love, You will be awake soon and we get to start a new day together. _

_I'll love you beyond the end of time._

_Forever, Edward_


	10. Chapter 10

_**~*~ I Do Not Own Twilight… I just like to play with Edward ~*~**_

_****A/N** I am soooo Sorry that this update took so long. I was working on "Fire Island" … a o/s submission for Fandoms Fight The Floods. And then I was working with Callie, finishing a o/s for a different contest! This week I have won the DirtyBJH00r Contest ! Check out "Of Reflections & Orgasms" on my profile ! **_

_**We are getting pretty close to the Wedding *wink* who's excited? **_

_**Just a couple shout outs to show some Love … WoahNow, Amanda DcCullen, PAWsPeaches, Bell Jacobsen, Happy Mess, Stillwaters72, I'm Random girl, One of eddie's girls, OneSweetBell, Eyes 4 edward only, Shecater, Kinsano, SaveaVolvoRideaVampire & NewTownGirl. Thanks for all the support xoxo **_

_Dear Bella,_

_You woke up bright and early this morning. I noticed you were starting to stir around five thirty, so I hovered above you and woke you with kisses. I can't help but smile to myself as I write this. There is something so precious about the way you looked when you opened your eyes. You smiled immediately, and there was a soft glow in your eyes. They hold so much love and passion for me. Your hair was spread out on the pillow in soft waves of chocolate. The bed sheets were brought up to your bare chest and tucked under your arms. I could see your angelic form perfectly outlined by the shadow of the morning sun. _

_I smiled and pressed my lips to yours slowly. Savoring the moment, and burning that image of you into my brain so I never lose it. I have never seen anything more beautiful. I brought my hand up to caress your face while I kissed you more firmly. I let my hand fall to trace a line with my index finger, all the way down your arm to where the sheet was tucked. I pulled the sheet lower and lower until I could see more of my beautiful Fiancée. _

_The swell of your breasts spilled over the top of the sheet and I dipped my head to place soft kisses all over you. You wrapped your hands around my neck and reached up to tug on my hair. You whispered a soft "Good Morning" to me while I roamed your body. _

_You let out a tiny giggle when I reached your belly button. I kissed you even softer there, knowing it would tickle. I smiled and rested my head on your belly. You twirled your fingers around in my hair, no particular pattern, it was just to touch me in a loving manner. It was incredible. I love being with you that way. Nothing can compare to it, not now, not ever. _

_We just stayed that way for a while, enjoying the quiet rise of the sun. I turned to look up at your face. You were smiling brilliantly and I asked what made you so happy. Your answer was one word, and with that one word, you managed to make me feel like I could actually shed tears. My heart swelled and I felt so much love and devotion for you that I was nearly spinning. Your answer was "You". I know you love me, I do. But to know that I am the reason that gave you that glorious and genuinely happy smile, made me feel like I would explode with emotion. I love you so much that there aren't even words powerful enough to describe it, and now I know you love me the same way. _

_I reached up and claimed your lips with mine. I wrapped both arms around you as our lips moved together fiercely. I rolled to the side and you rolled on top of me, pinning me to the bed under you. The sheets fell to the bed and you were completely naked and sinfully beautiful in my arms. The morning sun glow was illuminating your ivory skin and making the colors in your hair shine. So beautiful. You really are a Goddess, you have to know that. Remembering it now, I have to control myself not to wake you out of your sleep. I am insatiable for you, Bella. It's never enough, I always want so much more. You do things to me that most men will never experience in their lifetime. _

_You were moaning softly until I grabbed your hips and pushed myself against you. Then, the sounds that were coming from you were deliciously primal. Ethereal. I have never wanted you more than I have this morning. I knew my control was slipping, I was grinding our naked bodies together in a steady motion as I kissed your lips, your neck and your breasts. I moaned loudly as I stilled under you to take a moment to look into your eyes. I had to find myself, I needed your hold on me to bring me back. I was counting on you to help me remember that I needed to be in complete control. When I looked into your eyes, I saw burning lust that rivaled my own. It wasn't helping. _

_I flipped us over in a movement so quick that you hadn't noticed right away. When you finally did, you spread your legs for me as I lowered myself over you. Your thighs closed in on my waist as I wrapped one arm around you and held myself up above you with the other. I was so close to kissing your perfect lips when you spoke. Your words were enough to startle me out of the bliss I was reeling in. You whispered into my ear that you wanted me to make love to you. You said you couldn't wait anymore, and that you needed me to take you, to make you mine. _

_My first reaction was to freeze in place and try to process your request. You were speaking out of lust, not reason. You were so warm, I knew your body was heated and craving release. I looked into your eyes and saw resolve. I saw that you were ready. It was a new look, and that made me realize we were dangerously close to breaking our own rules. _

_Your hands were gripping me, trying to pull me closer to you. I had an internal brawl with myself, not knowing what to do. I lowered my head so I could kiss your waiting lips. I nipped and sucked at your mouth as my hand slipped down between our bodies to press against your wet core. As soon as I felt how hot and wet you were for me, I felt my inner voice of reason shatter and disintegrate. _

_I slid one finger through your slick folds. I was so hard that I could feel tingling, painful surges reach the head of my cock. I rubbed myself against your thigh to relieve some of the pressure. You were moaning louder and begging me to make you cum. I was imagining all the ways I could fuck you, and wondering how many times I could make you cum in one day. I shook my head to clear the thought, I wanted to watch you. I watched your mouth mostly. Your lips would fall apart as you moaned and your tongue would sneak out to wet your lips every now and then. When I pushed my finger deep inside you, you would bite your bottom lip to keep from screaming. You were groaning and squirming underneath me. _

_Just as I felt your walls come together around my finger, I added a second one and curled them inside you. I started pushing down with my hand to give more pressure as I worked your pussy. You were screaming my name and I desperately wanted to feel what you were feeling. That level of ecstasy is too tempting. Your head was thrown back against the pillow and your legs were starting to shake around me. I needed you to cum. You were so close, I had to feel you clench around my fingers. So tight. I was painfully wishing it was me inside you, so I could feel your muscles constrict my cock inside you. _

_You were breathless in your pleas for more. You begged me to fuck you. You begged me to cum with you, inside you. You were sweating and panting through your orgasm. You screamed my name with so much pleasure that I melted at the sound. I circled your clit with my thumb, spreading around the juice that flowed from you. _

_As you were coming down from your orgasm I pulled my fingers slowly from you and brought them to my lips so I could taste your heavenly flavor. I sucked on both fingers only for a second before admitting to myself that it wasn't enough. I leaned away from you and grabbed your knees, pushing them as far apart as I could. I dipped my head down and devoured your pussy. I swirled my tongue around your clit, I kissed your lips and bit down on your flesh as I drank up the cum that spilled from deep inside you. _

_You fisted your hands in my hair and tried to pull me away but I wouldn't let you. I moved my tongue over you at my own vampire speed, which to you would feel better than a vibrator. You were moaning deep sounds and arching your back. Your thighs started to quiver and I knew you would be begging for it again. I held you firmly in place by your hips as I looked up to watch your face as I continued to eat your pussy. _

_Watching you react to me was making me wild. I was throbbing for you and I needed some kind of friction. I reached down and started stroking my cock in slow, strong strokes. I noticed your eyes lock on my hand and I asked you if liked watching me. You told me that you did. You reached your hands down to pull my mouth away from you. I instantly felt separation anxiety. You grabbed my hands where they rested on your hips and pulled me up to reach you. You pulled me back down to hover above you. I lay on my side and bent down to kiss your lips. You moaned when you tasted yourself on my tongue. You took my hand and brought it down slowly between us. I thought you were going to let me touch you, but you wanted me to touch myself. _

_I asked you what you wanted. You said you wanted to watch me while you touch yourself. I swallowed thickly and tried to relax. I was throbbing again, just listening to you speak the words. You sat up and moved over towards the headboard and told me to sit back at the foot of the bed, facing you. You brought your knees together and pressed your feet down on the bed in front of you, wrapping your arms around your knees. You bit your lip and told me to think of you. You are an extremely dangerous creature. _

_I looked into your eyes as I reached my hand down to grab my length. Your gaze darted to my occupied hand. You licked your lips. I stroked myself once from my base all the way up to my head, very slowly, feeling you out. I was curious to see if you really wanted this. Turns out, you really did. You whimpered a delicious sound as I slid my grip back down to my base. I let out a deep groan from finally easing some of the pressure. You sat up on your knees and bent down so you could take my cock into your mouth. You made suction with pressure to the base and slowly sucked your way up to the head. You swirled your tongue around me once to make it wet. I moaned loudly as I filled your mouth. I fisted one hand into your hair as you released me from your mouth. I grabbed your face in my hands and brought you up for a deep kiss. I love tasting myself on your lips. There is something so animalistic and primal, knowing that I'm the only one who will ever leave that taste and scent on you. _

_You pulled back as I released your lip with a slight pop sound. I grabbed my cock and groaned when I felt how wet it was. I stroked myself a few times at a slow pace as I watched you. You lowered your knees and pushed your legs apart slightly. I watched you sneak your hand down in between your thighs and I was licking my lips profusely. Without realizing it, I started stroking myself faster, in anticipation of watching you. It felt so good. You started talking to me, telling me the things you wanted, things you wanted to do to me, things you wanted me to do to you. That you wanted to ride me and have me beg you, to let me cum. You said you wanted me to bend you over and pull your hair while I fucked you from behind. I was moaning deep and loud at your words. I started pumping my fist up and down my length in a hard and steady rhythm. _

_I moved closer to you, on the bed. I reached out and spread your legs, nice and wide, so I had a full view. I watched as you lowered your fingers and slowly dragged them up and down your soaking wet lips. I felt my insides burn and twitch, knowing what was coming. You brought two fingers up to your mouth and licked them as you put them fully into your mouth to suck on. Your eyes locked with mine as you brought both fingers down to your lower lips. You slid them both up and down once, then pushed them both inside. Your mouth opened and gasped softly as your fingers plunged into your dripping core. _

_I slowed my pace as I stroked myself with a firm grasp. The pressure was unbearable, I didn't know how much longer I would last. You were sliding down, lower on the bed from all the squirming around. I told you that soon my cock would be inside you and you could have a real orgasm. You moaned loudly as your fingers started plunging deep and deeper inside you. Your fingers were glistening as you ricked your hand back and forth, applying pressure deep in your core. I breathed out your name every time you threw your head back. I begged you to let me taste you, but you said no. _

_You wanted me to cum with you, not after you. I was starting to see that white glow. I was dangerously close to exploding. A shiver creeped up my spine, and then spread throughout my whole body as I stroked myself harder. I got up on my knees and moved closer to you. I situated myself between your thighs and stroked myself even faster. You were begging to be fucked, you screamed my name as you watched my hand move firmly up and down my length. You took your hand and started rubbing your clit vigorously while you used your other hand to fuck yourself. _

_We were moaning together, the sounds filled the room and it still didn't take away from the delicious sounds of your fingers moving in and out of you. Your hips were moving up and down on the bed and I couldn't stay away another minute. I hovered above you and pulled your bottom lip into my mouth with my teeth. I licked your lips and kissed you deeply as I stroked myself against your stomach. The head of my cock was brushing against your belly with every stroke. I lowered my body so I was lined up to feel your hand working towards your orgasm. You stopped circling your clit and used that hand to wrap around the base of my cock as I stroked myself. I growled at the feel of your hand on me. I was so close, I needed to see you cum before I could let go. _

_You started whispering, I almost didn't catch it. You asked me to slip inside you. You said even if it was for just a minute, to help us both reach our climax. I clenched my eyes shut and ground my teeth together, trying to control myself. I hadn't even realized that your fingers weren't inside you, until they were on my lips. My eyes shot open as your scent filled my body. I took your fingers into my mouth and sucked your juices off them as I stroked myself right above your waiting pussy. _

_The surge that went through my body was deliciously painful. My cock was throbbing and there was pre-cum leaking from my tip. I looked down at your glistening pussy. I had to feel you. I licked my lips and you moaned. You begged me to fill you. You placed your hand over mine as I slowed my strokes. You took my hand and placed it on your lower belly. You told me to take my other hand and fuck you with my fingers. I growled audibly into the room at the loss of contact on my cock. I was so close and you wouldn't let me cum. I smirked and plunged two fingers inside you as I pushed down on your belly. _

_I fucked you with my fingers so hard that you were dripping all over me. I thrusted my fingers inside you in long deep plunges, twisting and curling them to hit your sweet spot. I started pounding my hand into you, harder and faster until my hand was slapping against your pussy. After only fifteen seconds, you were screaming and cumming so hard that your juices were squirting from you. My gaze was locked on your pussy as I watched you cum all over me. _

_I slid my fingers out of you quickly and grabbed my cock, coating it with your cum and started stroking myself hard. You were moaning and whispering to me. You pushed yourself against me as I stroked my rock hard cock. I was groaning when I felt the head of my cock brush against your clit. You sat up and crashed your lips to mine, holding me in place with your tiny hands. I moaned like an animal into your mouth as I felt my cock swell one final time before I pulsed and came all over you. You were moaning and begging me to cum on you. I growled as I shot long spurts of cum on your pussy and your thigh. You replaced my hand with your own and stroked me slowly, up and down, dragging the head of my cock over your lower lips. My cum was spreading all over your pussy as you rubbed yourself with my dick. _

_Our breathing was uneven and you were covered in a beautiful glossy sheen of sweat. I kissed your lips, hard and long. I pulled you into my arms and held you there until I calmed down enough to open my eyes. I told you that it was too close, it was too much and I almost gave in. I was too close to losing all control. You kissed my lips to quiet my guilty rant. I pulled us up into a sitting position and you straddled my lap as we kissed for a few minutes, calming down together. We both whispered words of love as we came back to reality. _

_I had to break our kiss, in fear that you would get me aroused again. There was no way in hell I would've been able to hold back twice. Not even Saint Peter himself has that kind of control. _

_We stayed in bed for another hour after that. We were just content in each other's arms. We had successfully spent our entire morning in our bed. It was more than amazing. It was absolutely perfect. _

_Once you had enough rest time, you said you were ready for a shower. I picked you up, and carried you to the bathroom and turned on the hot water for your shower. I stayed behind as I watched you step into the shower, enjoying the view. After a few minutes, I decided to join you. When I stepped into the shower you were all soaped up and I was instantly hard for you again. We washed each others bodies, slowly and sensually. I stole a few kisses as my hands roamed your body. We dried off together and got dressed before we left the bathroom. _

_You weren't hungry yet so we decided to pick a book and went to lay together in the living room. We sprawled out on the couch together, you laying in my arms as we read to each other. You started to fall asleep in my arms as I read to you. I put the book aside and just played with your hair for a few minutes until you were asleep. I carried you upstairs and tucked you into bed for your nap. I went downstairs to make you something to eat so it would be ready when you woke up. _

_Alice called to say that she had more wedding things to discuss with us. She said she would meet us around seven o'clock so we could take you to dinner and go over some things. I came upstairs when I heard you move around. When I walked in you were standing next to the bed, stretching your arms above your head. You looked absolutely beautiful. I walked over to you and wrapped my arms around your waist and told you our plans for the evening. You went over to the closet and picked out a blue, silk dress with black shoes, and laid them out on the bed for when you were ready. _

_We went downstairs so you could have lunch. Once you were finished we went back into the living room and you wanted to watch a movie, so we put in Pearl Harbor. You snuggled up next to me on the couch, my arm around you as you leaned on my shoulder. We spent the first thirty minutes actually watching the movie. Once I started to kiss your neck, you turned to face me and we spent the next thirty minutes kissing. The only reason our make out session was cut short was because Alice refused to stop calling after we tried very hard to ignore her. _

_We went upstairs to get ready for our night out. You slipped into your dress and I tried very hard to keep my hands off of you. I dressed in black pants and a charcoal button down shirt. When I walked over to you, I had to pull you to me. My hands roamed the soft silk and I traced your curves as I kissed your lips. You looked gorgeous, as usual. We went out to the car and headed towards Port Angeles to meet Alice at the restaurant. We discussed some details while you ate, and went over time schedules for everyone to meet up. We also went over where we would all be to get ready. I was very unhappy about Alice's plans to try and take you away from me the night before. She says its bad luck for us to be together the night before the wedding. You laughed and smiled when I told her that I would like to see anyone try to take you away from me. _

_After dinner, we walked around town for a little while, talking and laughing with Alice. She was blocking me the entire time and the only reason I can think of is that she doesn't want me to catch a glimpse of your wedding dress. I really appreciate that consideration. I want to see you in that dress for the first time when you're walking down the aisle towards me. _

_Once we were home, I ran a bubble bath for you and I waited in bed with a book while you took some time to relax. You came out in a white fluffy bathrobe and you looked absolutely adorable. I pulled you to me and we laid side by side, talking about our day. I noticed you were starting to yawn and your eyes were getting heavy so I pulled the blankets over us and held you in my arms until you fell asleep. After a few minutes you were fast asleep and you rolled onto your side to lie on your pillow. That's when I picked up your journal and started writing. _

_Tomorrow will be a busy day. We have some things to do around the house. Jasper is going to help me finish the outside, Emmett already said he wants no part of hanging lights. After what happened last time, I can't really say that I blame him. _

_Tonight, at the restaurant, you were doodling on a napkin while waiting for the food to be brought out. You didn't notice that I took it when you weren't paying attention. You drew our names together with little hearts around it and underneath my name you wrote "forever". I couldn't let someone throw it out so I thought it would fit in well with your journal. I've added the napkin to this page, so you can have something that you, unknowingly contributed to your journal. _

_Sleep well my angel, I will be here to wake you up with kisses when the sun comes up. _

_All My Love, _

_Forever, Edward_


	11. Chapter 11

_**~*~ I Do Not Own Twilight. I Just Wish I Did. ~*~**_

_**** Review Please…. They make my day ** **_

_Dear Bella,_

_Today was a very long day, I didn't have enough alone time with you. It seemed like every time I tried to kiss you today, someone or something got in the way. I wanted to rip my hair out by the end of the day, I was so frustrated. Then Alice, with her smart comments. As if she had to voice her thoughts that I could already hear clear as day. Telling me I already waited a hundred years, I shouldn't have a problem keeping my hands off of you for another few hours. I was beyond aggravated. I just wanted to be alone with you. Just to hold you. _

_Our day didn't start out so infuriating; it started out as it usually does. Peaceful. Just us being us. I love every single moment that you are in my arms. Breathing you in, relaxes me, makes me feel complete serenity. _

_I stayed next to you, while your eye lids fluttered with your dreams. I held you close to me with one arm, while my other hand twirled strands of your hair in between my fingers. The bed sheets had slid down considerably while you moved during the night. I tried to keep you covered, but for the most part, was unsuccessful, which I didn't mind at all. You were shifting and wiggling closer to me all night. It felt amazing every time you would press yourself against me. I was hard for you all night. Especially, when I would hold you close and feel the silk of your nightgown. I desperately wanted to cover your body with mine and kiss you all over. By the time morning came, I was throbbing. _

_You started to whisper in your sleep. You said my name a few times, and then you would sigh in contentment. I traced your lips with my finger and they parted for me. I leaned down to run my tongue across your bottom lip, very slowly. I watched your eyes. They fluttered open and you smiled when you saw me above you. I leaned back down to kiss you, softly on the lips. At first, you kissed me back and moaned slightly when I threaded my hand into your hair. But as soon as I brought my arm down to pull your waist up to meet my body, you pulled away and said you had to get up and get ready. I sighed in defeat as I let you up from under me. _

_You slowly crawled out of bed and stretched your arms above your head. I lay on my side as I watched you. My eyes traveled over your every curve as you worked out all the kinks from sleeping. I licked my lips and reached an arm towards you when your dark blue, silk nightgown slid up above the curve of your ass. I was stood behind you in a fraction of a second. _

_Your arms were above your head and your back was arched. My right hand grabbed both your hands in mine as I held your arms in place above your head. With my other hand, I traced the length of your arm down to the dip under your arm, you flinched slightly. I brought my hand around to the front of your body and cupped your left breast. I released your hands and slid my other hand down to massage your other breast. My hands slid down to your belly and across your hips. I pressed myself up against you as I pulled you to my chest. I wrapped my arms around your waist and kissed your neck. You leaned back into me and sighed as I moved one hand down behind your back. You reached an arm behind us, so you could tangle your fingers in the hair at the back of my neck. You told me I was starting something I wouldn't be able to finish, because we had very little time to get ready as it was. I smirked at the challenge. I lowered my hand to brush against the back of your thigh and trailed up to meet the delicious curve of your ass. I gripped firmly and kneaded the flesh as I pushed my hips forward to press my already hard dick against your lower back. _

_You breathed out my name heavily and the sound had me moaning with you. I whispered your name as I kissed the soft curve of your ear. I whispered my love for you, and how badly I want you to be my wife. And as I kissed your neck slowly, I had a moment of weakness. I told you I wanted to be inside you. Your knees went weak and you fell backwards into me. I gripped your hips and turned to stand in front of you. I crashed my lips to yours as I lifted you off the floor. I dipped your body down and lay us back down on the bed. I trapped you underneath me and positioned my waist between your thighs. My hands roamed your body and I couldn't stop gripping the silk in my hands roughly. I was so lost in you, I was slipping into a primal frenzy. _

_In that moment, you didn't look innocent and pure. You looked wild and untamed. A seductress. My body felt like it was on fire and I had to touch you to help put out the flames. But when I claimed your mouth, there was a combination that sent my body shaking. Fire and Ice. The fire of our passion coursed through me as the ice sent chills down my spine. It was a delicious torture. It brought on my animalistic features. I wasn't being gentle with you. There wasn't enough time for gentle. My need for you was raw lust. _

_We were both moaning loudly into the room. I let out a deep roar as you wrapped your legs around me. I pushed against you at the same time that you arched your back. Our hips met and it sent waves of lust through my whole body. It was sensual and erotic. I held on to you firmly with strong pressure. I was being rough with you, too rough. I was clawing at your silk nightgown, fisting it in my hands. I grabbed your thigh and lifted it up above my shoulder as I pressed us closer together. I felt very possessive of you in that moment. Flashes of us being together flooded my mind. I saw you panting and moaning with your head thrown back. I saw us tangled up in bed. I saw your face as I had my head buried between your thighs. And then I saw you in that moment, with the same lusty eyes. I had a dangerous realization. __**I'm**__ the one that makes you moan and shake. __**I'm**__ the one who makes you wet, just with my words. __**I'm**__ the one who makes you cum. At that thought, I was spiraling into an abyss of passion. I couldn't get close enough to you, I needed more. _

_I slid my hand down in between us so I could rub along the outside of your silk panties. They were soaked. All that did was make me groan into your mouth. The fire inside me was growing stronger, I needed to touch you. I hooked a single finger into the side of your panties and stroked your wet flesh. You were deliciously wet for me, as always. You moaned louder and whimpered from the contact. You always tell me you love my fingers, so I used that to your advantage. I slid my middle finger into your warm pussy and pushed down. You gasped in a short breath and made a delicious o shape with your mouth. I licked your lips and nibbled on your bottom lip as you made delicious sounds. _

_I added my ring finger and flipped my hand, palm up, and started pumping my fingers in and out of you. I was hitting your sweet spot over and over, making you drip for me. Your one leg was still up on my shoulder and I turned my head so I could kiss your thigh. I licked and nibbled down as far as I could reach. You started to scream and groan. I was breathing heavy into your open mouth. The ache in my dick was painful, I needed to feel you. Your eyes were clenched shut and your mouth was open as you panted. So vulnerable to me. I slowed my pace before you reached your orgasm. I wanted to tease you, I wanted you to beg for it. I slid my fingers out of you and rubbed my hand up your belly and onto the front of your nightgown. Your thighs quivered and your eyes shot open as my gaze burned into you. _

_I dropped your leg down from my shoulder and spread your thighs as I hovered above you. I licked my lips and you whimpered. I growled as your scent filled the room and over took me into another world. I attacked your mouth and there was another flood of your scent spilling into the air. I slid the straps of your nightgown down your arms, and pushed the silk down your torso, exposing your beautiful breasts. My mouth latched onto your nipple roughly as I pulled your body impossibly closer to mine. I groaned and thrusted my hips forward, pushing your legs farther apart. Our breathing was ridiculous, especially for me. The sounds coming from us were sinfully sexy. You started clawing at me, trying to bring me closer. Your fingers snuck into the waistband of my boxer briefs. Shivers ran through me and sent fiery pulses straight to the head of my swollen cock. Just as you were about to wrap your hand around my entire length…. There was a knock at the door and we both froze in place. _

_Rage. That was first reaction. I let out a fierce growl and your look softened. Your eyes were trying to relax me. I had to close my eyes and regulate my breathing. _

_Emmett and Jasper were standing in the hall, laughing and announcing that you were right earlier when you said that we didn't have enough time. After seeing the smile on your face and hearing the giggle that came from you, before you slapped your hands over your mouth, I was more annoyed than I was mad. I growled in frustration and dropped my head down to your shoulder. You grabbed the sides of my face, bringing me up to look at you. Your eyes told me how much you love me. I was instantly calm. _

_I kissed you softly and picked us both up off of the bed. You went to take your shower while I got dressed and made the bed. Then I swung the door open and grabbed my brothers before they could run away. I shook my head and gave them a dark laugh and whined about being interrupted. They laughed and followed me downstairs. I told them that it was their free pass, that the next time they listened to us at our door I would find a way to ruin both of their sex lives for the next few decades. The smiles fell from their faces as they realized, I could definitely make good on that threat. _

_You were waiting downstairs when I came in from the garage. I loaded up the car with the things Alice told me you would need for the day. I took your hand and pulled you close. I told you I would see you in a few hours, that I would meet you back at the house. You stood up on your toes to reach me, I leaned down to kiss you, but right before I did, Rosalie grabbed you and headed for the door. I was fuming at that. I caught a glimpse of your eyes as you looked back while being pushed out the door. I had to distract myself. I was in a raging mood and I wanted to rip her arm off just so I could throw it at her. _

_Jasper came over and told me not to worry, that you would be home in two hours. He was feeling the loss and rejection I was feeling, not to mention the longing and desperation. He patted me on the back and nodded towards the yard. We went out back and finished hanging the lights and making sure everything was perfect before we moved onto our next project. Emmett looked like a mad scientist as he prepared to plug in the lights, making sure they all worked properly. _

_After that, we moved on to the arches. We had to position the arches everywhere they needed to be and anchor them down so all we had to do was decorate them with flowers the day of. My heart clenched in my chest every time I glanced through the back doors, into the house. I pictured the two of us standing there, exchanging vows. I can't wait for that, Bella. You have no idea how I ache for that moment. I must have looked like a happy idiot, walking around with a huge grin on my face. If I did, my brothers, for once, didn't say anything. _

_The truck, with the dance floor, arrived just around the same time that you came back with the girls. I welcomed you home from a distance as I couldn't leave what I was doing at the moment. I was once again annoyed since I couldn't give you a proper welcoming. I wanted to hold you, even if it was just for a minute. You went into the house and I heard Carlisle approach you. The two of you went into his office to talk a bit. It was about your transformation. I tried to give you some privacy, I blocked out his thoughts and did my best to pre occupy myself. I really don't know what, specifically you talked about, but I'm sure if you want me to know, you'll tell me. _

_Once everything was squared away outside, I came back into the house to find you curled up on the couch with a book in your hand while Alice was sitting at your feet, giving you a pedicure. I smiled and walked over to you. You noticed and put your book down. I reached down to give you a kiss, and it was cut short by Rosalie, smacking me in the back of the head. Apparently, I wasn't allowed to cut into girl time. Once again, I was more than frustrated. _

_I told you I would be back in an hour. I went for a quick hunt. I went alone, even though Emmett had offered to go along with me. I needed time to relax, I had to calm down. I was only minutes away from snapping at my family. They really should know better than to test me like that. They know how strong our connection is, I need to be near you. Always. And they were keeping you from me. _

_When I came back, it was almost time for you to have dinner, so I went into the kitchen and prepared a chicken salad for you. Dressing on the side, just like you like it. I brought it upstairs to you, and I sat on the bed waiting for you to come out of the bathroom. You opened the door, and a brilliant smile graced your face. I couldn't help but run to you. I held you in my arms as if I hadn't seen you in a month. I placed my fingers under your chin and brought your gaze up to meet mine. I kissed your lips slowly, but deeply. I needed to show you how I needed you. All day, I couldn't' get close to you. God knows, I tried. _

_Our moment of peace was interrupted by Esme, who felt extremely guilty by the way. She and Alice needed us to go downstairs and look over some final details. You quickly ate your dinner and we headed downstairs into the dining room. We discussed quite a few different things, the arrangements for the tables, the seating, the chairs, the music …. It was just too much after a long day. I noticed you were yawning more frequently and squirming in your chair. I said we had enough and I stood to take your hand, and help you up. Alice started to protest and I used my most convincing vampire face when I told her a second time, that we had enough for one day. She sat back down and didn't say anything else. Her thoughts conveyed an apology, she realized we hadn't really had any time together all day. _

_I carried you in my arms up the stairs and walked us into our room. I didn't put you down, I couldn't let you go. I kicked the door shut behind us and walked us slowly towards the bathroom. I sat you down on the counter and started the shower. I walked back over to you and undressed you. Then I undressed myself and walked us over to the shower. I washed your body and then I washed my own, before slipping out to grab us both warm towels. We walked into the bedroom and we both stared at each other as we got dressed in our pajamas. The entire time, shower included, we didn't say a word. We didn't have to. It was the perfect end to an extremely long day. _

_We both climbed into bed at the same time, and you curled up into my chest as I pulled the blankets over us. You turned your head up to face me and told me that you loved me. And that even though the planning stresses us both out, you couldn't wait to marry me. I smiled and reached down to kiss you. We both said our goodnights and within minutes, you were sound asleep. _

_Tomorrow, we have to go to your house. I didn't have time to stop by there today but Jasper drove by and said everything was fine. Then we have the entire day to do whatever you want. Everyone will be home most of the day, but we can go out for the day if you like. We can do anything you wish, my Love. It's our last day that you will be staying here. _

_The day after tomorrow, Charlie will be home and we will go back to sleeping at your house until the wedding. That's going to kill me. I honestly don't know how we will keep our hands off of each other or at least keep quiet if we can't hold back. I am completely infatuated with you. If I'm not close to you, I go through Bella withdrawals. _

_Part of me is desperately hoping that Charlie will say that you should just stay with me, since all your stuff is here now anyway. I'm ashamed to admit, that was part of my plan. I was hoping he would suggest that you just move in early, seeming as it's so close anyway. I guess we will find out soon enough. _

_Today was so busy that I didn't have time to even think about what I wanted to put in your journal tonight. I'm sorry that I don't have a picture or a piece of a memory. But, I promise I will make it up to you with the next one. _

_There are no words that are strong enough to allow me to tell you what you mean to me. You are like, sunshine. The world is brighter with you in it. You make me so happy. Without you, nothing makes sense. Nothing else matters because if I don't have you, I have nothing. _

_You are sleeping next to me and I can't stop staring at you. You are the most beautiful woman to ever grace the Earth with your presence. You never agree with me, but it's true. I keep touching you softly and you snuggle closer to me. You are so tempting, I have to will myself to have a little self control. You will be awake soon and then I can finally kiss the lips that have been summoning me for the past few hours. I can't get enough of you. I am so excited that we are only, less than a week away from our Wedding. Then you're mine forever. _

_Eternal Love._

_Forever, Edward_


	12. Chapter 12

_**~*~ I Do Not Own Twilight. I Just Borrow Edward For Some Kinkery. ~*~**_

_****A/N** Hello my lovelies… hope you enjoy this chapter. We are getting very close to the wedding and I think Edward is starting to lose control ….. As always, special thanks to all my girls, I adore you … Callie & Amanda… You're amazing and I Love You Both ! xoxoxo Review Please !**_

_Dear Bella,_

_We are getting closer to our big day. A day that hasn't even happened yet, is already the best day of my very long life. The excitement that is building is just, phenomenal. Carlisle has asked me if I was nervous. I can honestly say that no, I am not nervous. I've waited so long for you. I don't want to wait anymore. I love you, Bella and there is nothing that I want more, than to start a whole new life with you. _

_However, I am getting pretty anxious in other areas of our relationship. We have been exploring each other for a while now, and every time we experience something new, I feel like I have died and gone to Heaven. You are incredible. The things you make me feel, are extraordinary. I'm afraid I am insatiable for you. I have a very real and legitimate fear, that once we are married, we will never again see the outside world. I worry that I won't be able to let you get dressed, let alone leave my side. There are no words, literally none, to describe what it feels like to be intimate with you. _

_Sure, I can try to come up with romantic comparisons, and meaningful metaphors, but they will never come close to our chemistry. We are complete opposites in every aspect of the term. We are Fire & Ice. Two different worlds, coming together to create something unimaginable, something that's never been done before. We are two elements that should not be able to meet, ever. Fire and ice can never exist in the same place, at the same time. We have defied the laws of nature, and we have created something unknown to any God. _

_We are unstoppable. There is nothing in this world that can ever take you away from me. My soul belongs to yours. They would find each other in any time or any place. We could live another thousand years, five hundred thousand years, or even if it's only ten years… I'll always come back, I'll always find you. Our souls are connected with the life force of a thousand hurricanes. There's no way I could ever be taken away from you, not even in death. _

_We went by your house for a little while this morning. Just to make sure everything was in order for when Charlie gets home tomorrow. We brought in the mail, went grocery shopping and you even cooked a few meals and put them in the freezer, just in case you won't be around much or have the time to make dinner. After all, there are only five more days until the wedding. Finally. _

_I followed you upstairs and watched as you walked around your almost empty bedroom. You seemed relieved, excited. I walked over to you and wrapped my arms around you. You immediately turned to face me and kissed me too quickly on my lips. You went to pull away after only a moment, but I refused to let you go. I held you to me and kissed you thoroughly for another couple of minutes. _

_When we finally stepped away from each other, we were both excited with passion and the look in your eyes told me that we needed to leave. We grabbed our things and headed back over to our house. Alice said they were all going for a quick family hunt. It was just us, all alone, which was something that I was desperately trying to avoid today. I knew my control was slipping, I needed a distraction. _

_I asked you if you wanted to watch a movie but you said you would rather read and listen to music, so I turned on the stereo, grabbed two books and we took our positions on the couch. You were at one end, I was at the other, we were facing each other with our knees meeting in the middle. Every couple of minutes or so I would look up over the top of my book to sneak a peek at you. You were beautiful, just sitting there peacefully, so absorbed into the story you were reading , I wanted to reach over and kiss you or hold you, but I restrained. _

_I must not have been doing a very good job of being discrete while sneaking glances at you because all of the sudden, you threw your book down on the floor next to where you were sitting and crawled over to my lap. You raised an eyebrow and asked what I was waiting for to kiss you. I gave you my best dazzling smile, as you call it, and caressed your face in my hands as I brought my head down so I could claim your lips with my own. I kissed you softly at first, just small pecks on each lip. Then I parted your lips with my tongue and began to nip your bottom lip and suck on the top one. Then I dragged my tongue over both of your lips very slowly before pushing my way inside so our tongues could caress each others. Your taste had me spiraling out of control, not to mention the added build up of your scent filling the air around us. I could taste your arousal on my tongue and I needed you desperately. _

_I kissed you slow. I remained in control, I held you in my arms, fisted one hand in your hair as I kept my other firmly on your hip. I would kiss you and pull away slightly, just enough to look at you. Your eyes were dark with lust and your lips were swollen and glistening. There was a slight crease in your eyebrow, a sign of desperate want or need. The pulse in your neck was throbbing, getting faster every time I touched your lips with my own. You moaned into my mouth and that was all it took for me to lose any control I thought I had. _

_I stood up off the couch and pulled you with me, I needed to feel your body against mine. I licked your lips slowly before you sucked on my bottom lip. You bit down on it and a surge spread through my whole body, it was incredible. You wrapped your arms around my neck as you tried to get closer to me. You pushed your hips into mine, earning a growling moan from me. Your body pressed against my throbbing erection and I swear, I could've ripped right through my jeans. _

_I stopped you when you tried to deepen our kiss. I couldn't restrain myself another moment. I needed to feel you. I needed something more intense. Usually when I touch you, there is humming, or an electric current of some kind. But this time, it was an almost painful throb. My entire body started to ache. I felt as if I wasn't close enough to you, even though I was holding you securely in my arms. I felt possessive. I wanted to dominate you. It felt amazing, to be that way with you after so long of being careful and delicate. I knew I wouldn't hurt you, but I wasn't exactly gentle. _

_I walked us backwards as I kissed you. I held your face in between my hands. You moaned as I controlled your movements. A plan was forming in my head, as I saw how you responded to my rough touch. When I held you tighter, you moaned. When I pulled your hair, you whimpered. When I kissed you roughly, you groaned. I grabbed your hips and pulled your body against mine as I sucked on your lips and bit down lightly. _

_I pushed you flat against the wall and raised your arms above your head. I mumbled into your mouth as I asked you if you were wet for me. You groaned your response and rubbed your thighs together. I opened the button on your jeans, pulled down the zipper slowly and reached inside to feel the outside of your panties. They were soaked. I moaned desperately as I hooked my finger under the fabric and pushed them aside so I could stroke you firmly. You whispered my name and I stared at your lips. Swollen, red and pouty… You were licking them slowly and I couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful those lips look, when they're wrapped around my dick. I pulled my hand from inside your pants, and kissed your lips once, before I fisted my hands in your hair and pushed your body down to the floor. Your body slid down the wall, your eyes watching me the entire time. Once you were positioned in front of me, I popped the button on my jeans, pulled down the zipper and told you to lick your lips. _

_Your beautiful lips were glistening, and I couldn't take it another minute. I dragged my thumb across your bottom lip, while I whispered what I wanted to do to you. I pushed my thumb through your lips, enjoying the warmth and wetness of your mouth. Your teeth grazed the knuckle before you closed your mouth, hollowed out your cheeks and sucked on it before I slowly, pulled my thumb from your mouth. Spreading the wetness across your lips with my thumb, I used my other hand to pull my throbbing cock from my jeans. _

_I stroked myself slowly, only an in inch from your face. I watched as your eyes shot straight to mine, almost as if you were asking permission to touch it. I shook my head no, and pushed the tip of my cock against your lips. I told you not to open your mouth. I held the head of my cock against your lips as I stroked myself down to my base. You have no idea how beautiful you look when you are ruled by your lust. You are my Goddess of Sin. _

_You were flush against the wall, in a squatting position, feet on the ground, knees bent, legs spread. I held your head with my right hand as I gripped my cock in my left. I told you to open your mouth, but only enough for me to slide through. I tilted your head up, to open your throat. I slid my cock in slowly, taking in the feel of your tongue. Your mouth was hot and wet, I was teetering on the edge of desire. _

_I pushed towards the back of your mouth and I felt myself slide down into your throat. You swallowed slightly in panic, and your eyes shot to mine. I told you to relax, that I would never hurt you. Your eyes softened and the panic that was there previously, was replaced with trust, resolve and pure lust. _

_I told you to open your mouth wider and keep your tongue flat, just covering your bottom teeth. I slid in and out of your open mouth with ease. I began to thrust harder into your mouth, but in keeping with the same slow pace. I was still holding one hand to the back of your head and I brought my other hand to your throat. I felt my cock sliding in and out of your throat and the sensation was pushing me too close to the edge. It was too much to watch your face. I had to look away. I threw my head back with a deep groan. I clenched my eyes shut. You moaned around my dick and the vibrations went through me like fire. I growled, a deep primal sound and it only turned you on more. _

_Finally, you closed your lips around my throbbing dick and you began to suck on me harder and harder. I was thrusting into your mouth to keep in time with your movements. I have never felt anything so amazing. I was throbbing and I knew it wouldn't be much longer until I came forcefully into your throat. _

_I opened my eyes and looked down at you once more, only to find you with one hand slipped into your jeans. I hissed your name as I pushed my cock deep into your mouth and held it there, applying pressure. You gagged slightly, so I pulled back and fisted both hands into your hair. I pulled your head down on my dick with every thrust. I was growling and groaning as I watched your cheeks hollow out and your throat fill with my dick. You were moving your hand vigorously, and I couldn't see what you were doing. I growled in frustration at the thought that I couldn't see you finger yourself. I started to fuck your mouth harder … faster. My breathing was ragged and I couldn't take anymore. I cursed into the air as I felt my cock pulse and I shot long, hot spurts of cum into your throat. I slid my cock slowly along your tongue, leaving a trail of cum. You licked the head of my cock and sucked every drop of cum that was there. You licked my length clean and then placed one soft kiss to the tip of my dick. _

_You looked up at me with hooded eyes and I grabbed your face roughly in my hands, bringing you to a standing position. I kissed your lips fiercely, wrapping my arms around your waist. I could taste my own cum on your mouth, but I didn't care. It made me feel primal. I claimed your mouth, marked it as mine. My scent was all over you, the thought had my cock twitching already. I kissed your lips as my hands roamed wildly over your body, as I walked us over to my piano. I picked you up and sat you on top of it. In one smooth motion, I ripped your jeans completely off your body and threw the scraps of material behind us somewhere. _

_I grabbed your waist and pulled you close to me as I kissed you with frenzied, wet, open mouth kisses. I teased your lips and tongue with my mouth. I roughly breathed out your name every time you took my bottom lip into your mouth. My hands found the seam of your lace panties and in an act of their own accord, I ripped them from you violently and added the shredded material to the mess on the floor. My hand palmed your ass and squeezed the curve meeting your thigh. You moaned into my mouth and I felt my cock twitch against you. I grabbed you by the hair and tilted your head back as I licked your mouth. I told you I couldn't wait anymore, that I didn't have the strength to stay away from you. _

_I spun you around and gripped your hips roughly in my hands, holding you in place like a vice grip. I breathed in your scent as I buried my face in your hair. I let my hands feel the curve of your waist and down to your hips. I ran my hands down the sides of your thighs. I kissed behind your ear and I brought my hands to the back of your thighs and spread them open for me. I brought my hand to the small of your back, pushed with minor pressure, so you were bent over my piano. I licked my lips at the sight, my hands locked on to your hips once more. I pulled you close to me as I thrusted my hips forward. Your ass was pushed against my aching dick. It was such a beautiful sight. _

_For a second, I stopped breathing and took a moment to really look at you. I was over ruled by my lust. I was so close, Bella. I almost pushed myself deep inside you, with no remorse for our efforts. I started to imagine you in your wedding dress, smiling at me. I swallowed thickly at the image, knowing I was about to effectively ruin that vision. My fingers must have been digging into your hips because you started to moan again, I was brought out of my reverie at the beautiful and lustful sound. Your body tensed at my frozen position. You sensed something was different, almost like the atmosphere changed. The air around us swirled in a different current, the rest of the world was coming back into focus. _

_That wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want our first time to be rough and in the middle of our living room. It was wrong and I immediately was ashamed of myself for losing control like that. You looked at me over your shoulder, then turned your body slowly, coming close to me. You were looking into my eyes as if you were trying to find me in there somewhere. I was lost, I was too far away to weight out passion with reason. I started to tremble slightly and you wrapped your arms around my neck and pulled your body close to mine. I hugged you close, and buried my face in your hair. I was relaxing and calming down. You whispered in my ear and told me to look at you, but I couldn't. I was undeserving. I had to think. I closed my pants, and cringed when I saw the shreds that used to be your clothes, on the floor._

_I quickly picked you up, grabbed the shredded clothes and ran up the stairs, into the bedroom and placed you on your feet in front of the closet. I grabbed some of my own sweat pants and a long sleeve t-shirt and handed them to you. You dressed quickly and walked over to where I was sitting on the edge of the bed. I was running my hands through my hair and sighing in frustration. I can't ever lose control with you. I don't even know who that was back there. It wasn't me, it was lust. The emotions a vampire experiences, are much stronger than a human's. You have to understand how hard it is for me to be with you, and keep myself connected. I want to get lost in you, but I can't. Not yet. _

_We sat in silence for a little while before I finally spoke. I told you that if we wanted to really wait until the wedding, we would have to try our best to keep our hands off of each other until then. You were reluctant to agree at first, I saw it in your eyes, but then you said okay. We sat together for a little while longer and then we went downstairs to sit in the living room, while we waited for everyone to come back. You picked up your book and we took our original positions on the couch. I kept looking at you and then glancing over at my piano, replaying the image of you bent over it in my head over and over again. _

_I was brought back to reality when I heard Alice approaching the house. They were on their way back from hunting. She was in the lead by at least five seconds, she wanted to give me a warning that they were coming. Peeking into our future again …. That's Alice. _

_Esme made you dinner, I stayed with you while you ate and then we went upstairs to get ready for bed. You asked if I would join you in the shower and I politely declined. I knew exactly what would have happened in that shower. I had to fight my urges, I had to abstain. _

_When you came out, you snuggled next to me and said you weren't tired yet. I picked up a book off the end table and started reading to you. I don't know when you fell asleep, but once I noticed, I put the book down, kissed the top of your head and turned off the light. _

_Tomorrow morning we have to head back to your house. Charlie said he would be home between eight and nine o'clock. I am sad to have to go back to previous living arrangements after having you here this way. But, in all honesty, maybe it won't be so bad. At least with Charlie sleeping in the next room, I'll know you're off limits and I'll have to keep my hands off of you. _

_When we stopped by your house earlier, and checked the mail… I noticed a brides magazine in the pile. I looked through it as you were cooking. I tore a page from it to place in your journal. This page was the only one that stood out to me in the entire catalogue. All wedding night lingerie is white or ivory. It all looked the same to me. The one that caught my attention was this midnight blue, satin nightgown. I would love to see you in this. Obviously, it will be after our wedding night that you see this, but I hope you will still consider my request. _

_Sleep well my Love, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. _

_You have my soul,_

_Forever, Edward_

**Pssssstttt … 5 more days til the wedding…..The more reviews, the faster I update !**

**Jus Sayin ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

~*~ I Do Not Own Twilight. I Just Wish I Did. ~*~

_****A/N ** Hey guys, I've gotten a lot of questions about this …. NO, FE will not end on their wedding night… We will see their honeymoon and Bella's transformation. I'm not sure exactly how many chapters are left but yes, there will be an epilogue =] ** Special thanks to Jordan for his late night laundry advice ;) …** And I would like to thank my lovely beta Callie, for pushing me to finish this chapter so we can work on LRTF… and some other real "drag" of a project … ;) ** Huge shout out to The Dark Side… I Fuckin love you guys ! ** xoxoxo I adore you all .. Thanks for reading… x**_

_Dear Bella,_

_This morning, you woke up before I came back to you. I was out for a quick hunt while you slept. I was back way before the sun came up, so I was worried why you would be awake. I crept into the room, trying to be as quiet as possible and slowly made my way over to your bedside. We didn't need to say anything to each other, our eyes told us exactly what we needed to say. You were looking up at me as I undressed and climbed into bed beside you. I saw relief replace discomfort and I saw love replace longing. I watched the tension roll away from you as I climbed in and got under the blanket with you, then tucked you to my chest. You sighed and told me that you can't sleep when I'm not with you, holding you. That you don't feel safe unless you're in my arms and how you can't get comfortable without me. I told you I was there, and that I wasn't going anywhere. I promised to keep you safe while you slept and kissed the top of your head gently. You fell asleep almost instantly. _

_I held you in my arms until the morning sunlight started to spill into the room. You shifted, to shield yourself from the brightness as I hopped out of bed to close the drapes. I wanted you to sleep longer since you hadn't had such a great night. I lay next to you, breathing you in, watching you dream. I twirled your hair between my fingers and traced heart patterns on your back. You woke again around ten o'clock. I could tell you were starting to come out of your sleep as you snuggled your pillow and sighed. I was grateful that you were starting to wake up, I was getting extremely lonely. I wanted to kiss you and touch you, after your dreamy whimpers and moans kept me impossibly hard the entire time you slept. When your eyes started to flutter, I was hovered above you in an instant, as you slept on your stomach. I was pressing the softest of kisses along your spine, up to your neck and around to reach your lips. _

_You smiled into my kiss and wished me good morning, then kissed my waiting lips. We spent some time in each others arms before we climbed out of bed. We showered together and then headed downstairs to get you some breakfast. Jasper was waiting in the kitchen with scrambled eggs and toast for you. He said he heard you get up and had nothing to do, so he decided to cook breakfast. You thanked him and sat down with the two of us, and finished your meal. We made our plans for the day and set off to get ready. _

_By the time we made it over to your house, Charlie was already home and sitting in the living room, watching the game. He heard us come in and motioned for us to come inside. He looked happy to see us both, and asked how things were while he was gone. We told him how we had spent our time, for the most part. He looked troubled, like something was bothering him, but I didn't catch anything in his thoughts. Sometimes, it feels as though he knows I can read his mind and he just, locks me out. It feels very defensive, like a natural reaction to my presence. _

_Charlie told us all about his time away, and said he was happy to be home. He only had today to recuperate, he goes back to his normal work routine tomorrow morning. You told him to go into the living room and watch the game, as we both prepared dinner. He smiled, kissed the top of your head and grabbed a beer. As he made his way out of the kitchen, I made my way over to you. I snuck up behind you and latched onto your hips as you were bent over in front of the refrigerator. You were so surprised at my touch, that you yelped and grabbed onto my hands. I wrapped my hands around your waist, and pulled you close to me. You relaxed when I whispered into your ear. I told you how beautiful you are, and that you really shouldn't bend over like that in front of me, or I wouldn't be held responsible for my actions. _

_You giggled and spun around so that you were facing me. There was a genuinely happy and beautiful smile on your face, as you looked up at me. I caressed your face in my hands and licked my lips as I dipped my head. Your lips were begging to be kissed. My lips attached to yours for a soft and deep kiss. We were just reveling in the feel of each others embrace, the touch of our lips to one anothers. Our lips always move so perfectly together, there is never any battle for dominance, just equal movements and synchronization to create the perfect kiss… our kiss. _

_I reached around you, to clear off a section of the counter, so I could lift you up and set you down on top of it. Your hands were tangled in my hair, my hands were clawing at your hips. We were lost in each other as we kissed. I started to run my hands up and down your back, your sides, down to your thighs and then I grabbed onto your legs and spread them farther out so I could wrap them around my waist. I pulled you closer to me so that you were barely resting on the countertop. You whispered to me as I kissed your neck, your sultry voice sending trails of fire through my veins. You told me you wanted to feel me, that you needed to feel me inside you. I groaned deeply as I picked you up, swung you around and pressed you roughly up against the wall on the opposite side of the kitchen. You moaned into my mouth as you wrapped your legs around me once more. _

_We must have knocked something over because a moment later, Charlies thoughts registered in my mind and I reacted within seconds of him catching us. I quickly set you on your feet, and stepped away from you, pulling out a pot in the top cabinet so it looked like I was just assisting you in the kitchen. When Charlie came around the corner, he eyed us up and asked that noise was. I told him you knocked over a glass, while you were trying to reach up into the cabinet. Then he chuckled and thanked me for helping you out. He went back into the other room and I had to hold onto the cabinet, to try to regain some composure. _

_I get so lost in you, that even my vampiric senses seem to fail, just being in a close proximity to you. I should have heard his thoughts way before I finally noticed. I should have been able to catch the glass that we knocked off the counter, but I didn't. When I'm kissing you or touching you, you take away all my abilities. You fill up all of my senses with _you_. You're the only thing I see, feel, smell, taste… you're the only thing that's real. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that revelation. On one hand, I am ecstatic that we have such an amazing natural reaction to each other like that, that we can get lost in each other so easily. But, on the other hand, it scares me. It makes me wonder what would happen if we were ever in danger. Would I hear someone coming in time? Would I be able to protect you if I was so lost in you? I wonder if Carlisle will have any suggestions on training, so I can heighten my senses. These are things I will have to work out on my own, another time. _

_Once I recollected myself, I stood back and watched as you straightened yourself out, smoothing over your shirt and heading back towards the refrigerator to take out the items you needed. You threw some chicken and some different ingredients in a roasting pan and set it on the counter. You were smirking and I didn't have to be able to read your mind, to know what you were thinking. "How can a graceful vampire lose all of his senses in a heated moment of passion…in the kitchen… and almost get caught by his girlfriends' father… who happens to be the Chief of Police." Emmett would have had a field day with that one! _

_I took a seat at the table, we didn't say anything to each other, but you looked like you were seconds away from a fit of hysterical laughter. I couldn't even try to maintain a serious look on my own face. I looked at you and shook my head, a smile creeping up and then started laughing. You then had your fit, and we were both in hysterics. You actually had tears in your eyes from laughing so hard. You leaned back on the counter and clutched your hand to your stomach. I stood up and walked over to you, still laughing, and placed my hand on your stomach. I wrapped my other arm around you and kissed the top of your head. You wiped your teary eyes and looked at me with a bright and beautiful smile. Once our eyes locked, the laughter was gone, the pain in your stomach from laughing was replaced with tension from desire... I saw it in your eyes. I saw the exact moment that it happened. I watched the playfulness dissipate and watched as lust took over, dilating your pupils and raising your body temperature. _

_You placed your hand over mine, as it stayed on your belly. You guided my hand down ever so slightly so I was resting on your lower belly. You pressed my hand down firmly and told me that this was my hold on you. That right there, in your lower abdomen, is where you feel the most intense pleasure anyone could imagine, and that I'm the only one who could ever give that to you. The moan that I elicited must have turned you on, because you attacked my mouth with fervor. Knowing, that you were referring to your orgasms, I pulled you against me once again and kissed you intensely. You whispered a few words that sounded like my name and begging for more. _

_As I was kissing you, I threw open the oven door and put the chicken in and set the timer, never breaking contact with your body. I held you to me and walked us backwards towards the wall furthest from the living room, spun you around and pressed you against it. I had both of my arms caging you to the wall in front of me, I reached down and kissed you, you grabbed onto my body and pulled yourself to me. I wrapped my arms around you and pushed against the wall, again. The way we kissed, it was so sexy, every minute of it. You were breathing hard into my kisses and you begged for me to touch you, to make you cum. You didn't care that your father was in the next room, you didn't care that you were supposed to be making dinner, you just … wanted. _

_I wanted to throw you down on the counter and cover your body with mine. I wanted to feel your soft, warm skin against my hard, cold body. I needed you so badly, in that one moment, I almost didn't care that your father was barely asleep in the next room. I listened closely to zero in on Charlie's thoughts, he was almost asleep. I took advantage of the opportune timing. I lifted you off the floor in a tight embrace, making you gasp and whimper into my mouth. _

_I groaned against your lips as I ran us back towards the closet in the hallway, then locked us inside the laundry room. I crashed my lips to yours as I clawed at the zipper of your jeans. I shimmied your pants down your legs and dropped them to the floor. I attacked your mouth once again with frenzied kisses and lifted you by your ass and sat you on top of the washing machine, with a knowing and smug smile, I turned it on._

_I saw your eyes widen and dance with excitement as I leaned forward to claim your mouth once more. I hooked my fingers into the side of your lace panties, slow enough to tease you. I moved my other hand up to your face, covered your mouth and whispered in your ear for you to be quiet. You whimpered and clenched your eyes shut as I licked my lips and held back a groan of my own. Feeling how wet you were for me, I slammed two of my fingers inside you so hard that your body shook with tremors. You were absolutely beautiful. Your head was thrown back, eyes closed, your hair hanging down and wild. I couldn't see your lips, as much as I wanted to taste your luscious mouth, I had to keep covering it. Your whimpers and moans, definitely would have woken up Charlie, he was barely asleep as it was. _

_You were deliciously wet as I thrusted my fingers in and out of you. I was sliding my fingers inside you so easily, you feel like… the finest Italian silk, mixed with a wet satin. Always so soft, warm and tight. You started dripping down your left thigh. I dropped my head down and licked up the trail of your wetness all the way into the juncture of your thigh, slowly meeting your heated pussy. I licked you once, then twice, and a third time, at a slow torturous pace, until you were whimpering hard and crying out into the palm of my hand. I let out a low growl, licked my lips and came back up to claim your mouth. I slid my tongue along your bottom lip, tasting you. I sucked on your lips, one at a time before I slid my tongue into your mouth, tracing patterns against your eager tongue. I added a third finger as I pushed back into you as your back arched, and you cried my name into my mouth. Watching you cum made me impossibly harder and I wanted so desperately to be inside you. I whispered in your ear once more to be quiet and I curled my fingers inside you, filling you in longer, deeper strokes. You were coming down from your blissful high so I took my hand away from your mouth and kissed you hard. It was then that I heard shuffling coming from the living room. _

_Charlie was thinking that dinner was taking too long and was ready to go into the kitchen to see what we were up to. I quickly told you to get dressed and come meet me in the kitchen. All I can say is thank God, I have my vampire speed. I made it into the kitchen only two seconds before Charlie stepped in and saw me standing near the oven. He asked where you were and I said you ran to check on the laundry. He looked confused for a moment until I distracted him and asked if the game was over. I thought I caught some suspicion in his thoughts, but he never questioned me. A moment later, you walked into the kitchen, sat down at the table and asked if I checked the chicken. _

_Charlie asked if you were finished with the washing machine, not only did you freeze in place, your face turned bright red and you stopped breathing. I dropped a fork on the floor, to take Charlies attention away from you, giving you a chance to calm down. You stuttered an answer and Charlie said he wanted to do some of his own and wanted to know if he should put your things in the dryer. Your eyes shot to mine and I stepped in to avoid the both of us getting caught in a lie. I told Charlie, I would put your things in the dryer since some of the clothes in there were mine too. He nodded and grabbed another beer as I walked towards the laundry room. I ran at vampire speed up the stairs, into your room looking any kinds of clothing I could use as a prop. Luckily, there were two pairs of sweat pants and one of my t-shirts that you like to sleep in, sitting near the bed. I grabbed them and ran back downstairs before Charlie even noticed that I was gone. I quickly dropped them into the machine, to soak them with water and threw them into the dryer, resetting the washing machine back to rinse so it would clear out and look like a complete cycle had went through. I'm nothing, if I'm not thorough. _

_After an awkward dinner together, Charlie asked if you were staying home for the night or if you were going home with me. My eyes shot to his, I didn't even hear a warning in his thoughts. He genuinely thought you would be coming home with me. He explained that he assumed, since you had spent so much time with me, that you would stay. It made sense, and that was what I was hoping for. Charlie looked sad as he reasoned that all of your things were already at our house anyway. You smiled sadly at me, then at him and told him that you were tired and you wanted to stay in your bedroom, just for the night. The smile on his face was all the encouragement you needed. You were smiling brightly as well, which effectively had me smiling. So we sat there, three adults, smiling like fools for at least three minutes. I understood your feelings, and I understood your emotions and your need to get some closure. Moving away from home is a milestone, and I want you to feel closure and I want you to be completely comfortable in your leaving. I don't want you to have any regrets. _

_After some wedding conversation, I took my leave. I kissed you goodnight and told Charlie that I would be back to pick you up in the morning. We all said goodnight, and I drove home, dropping my car off for the next few hours. _

_I ran back to you as fast as I could. I was inside your bedroom within fifteen minutes. You were in the shower, so I waited in your bed. When you stepped into the room, you were dressed in a short, white satin nightgown. Your hair was dripping wet and you were trying to towel dry it as you sauntered over to me. I can't even tell you how incredibly beautiful you are. Always so perfect, pristine and gorgeous. _

_You fell asleep in my arms for the last time in this room. As I lay here now, all I can think about is that, tomorrow night, you will be sleeping with me, in our bed, every night, for the rest of forever._

_Je__t'aimerai toujours__, __ma__Bella__. _

_Forever, Edward_

_**Hmmm …. Edward speaking French is so sexy… does it really matter what he said ? lol **_

_**Ok, well… He said… I will always love you, My Bella **_

_***swoon* I know !**_

_**Want more ? …. Go Review ! **_

_**Xoxo**_

_**~nic**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**~*~ I Do Not Own Twilight. I Just Wish I Did. ~*~**_

_****A/N** SO, apparently, I'm a slacker… So sorry this took so long. I'll be better, I promise !**_

_Dear Bella, _

_I woke you early today, you would have slept all day, had I not. I was anxious to get out of the house and take you out, so we could enjoy some quiet time. I had something planned so that you could finally get clued in as to where I am planning to take you for our honeymoon. Originally, I was just going to surprise you completely. But, something tells me that you wouldn't approve of me withholding information. I kissed you and there were the usual murmurs of 'Good Morning'. I hovered over you as I kissed my way down your body. You smiled at me and we lay there together for a few minutes, just enjoying the presence of each other. _

_After a few minutes, we went down to the kitchen and you had some orange juice and a banana. You said you weren't in the mood for breakfast. You went upstairs to get dressed, and when you came back into the kitchen, my mouth must have dropped to the floor. You looked absolutely stunning in a dark gray cashmere sweater dress and black shoes. Relentless visions attacked my mind as I imagined bending you over the counter and fucking you repeatedly. I wanted you, in a desperate way. I needed to feel you. I walked over to you, staring you up and down, licking my lips and never meeting your eyes. I couldn't peel my eyes off your body. I reached my hands out to grab onto your hips and pulled myself close to you. You giggled and told me that we were supposed to be getting ready to leave. I had to refocus and force myself to concentrate on behaving like a gentleman. Internally, I was begging and pleading with myself, but on the outside, I appeared to be normal, but you sensed the brooding. We laughed a little awkward laugh together before we left the house and jumped into the Volvo. _

_We headed out to Port Angeles, so we could walk around and enjoy our day as much as possible. Alice had to go to Seattle for some reason, she was blocking me so I really couldn't tell you what it was. But whatever it was, I was thankful for it. I know she would have been a constant shadow to us today, had she been home. Once in the city, we went to an old music shop that caught my eye. I noticed a very old piano in the window and it reminded me of my human life. My parents had something similar, must have been from that same era. I would have to go back one day and see if I can figure out just when it's from. _

_We were almost to the destination I had mapped out for you. I saw the library on the right side of the street, so I pulled us in that direction. You looked up and gasped, asking if we could go in. I should have known, I would never have to coax you into entering a library. That place was probably one your favorite places to go in that entire town. We kept walking and I pictured how you might react, I was a little nervous. I hoped you would be happy. _

_I rolled my eyes at that thought and pulled you into the library behind us. Once inside, you spun around with an excited smile, almost like a child on Christmas morning. I told you that this was where I had planned to take you. You asked what we were doing there and I simply said I had something to show you. I grabbed your hand and led you up the spiral staircase, around a few corners and into the very back of the library in the travel section. You eyed me suspiciously as I reached for a few specific books. You seemed a little uncomfortable all of the sudden so I asked what was bothering you. Your cheeks blushed a gorgeous shade of pink and you bit down on your bottom lip before you answered with a meek reply. You said I looked perfect, and that you wanted to feel my arms as I reached up for the books. I knew exactly what was on your mind. I smirked and gave you one of my best charming laughs as I gave you a wink._

_I told you I wanted to play a little game. I would show you pictures of places, buildings, things like that. Then, I would ask you what the pictures were of. For each right answer, I would kiss you in a place of my choosing and move my hands further down your body. Ultimately, I was making you wet and ready for me, so I could give you a mind blowing orgasm in the corner of the library. But, if you got it wrong, I would tease you, never giving you what you wanted the most. You were breathless as I explained my game to you. I stalked over towards you, close enough that you could feel my breath when I whispered into the side of your neck. I placed one hand on your hip, rubbing circles with my thumb against the soft cashmere and asked you if you wanted to play with me. The strangled moan that escaped your beautiful mouth, was agreement enough. _

_You seemed somewhat nervous, until I wrapped my arms around your waist and placed a tender kiss on your sweet lips. I wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer as I crushed our lips together. You sighed my name as I broke away from your mouth. I spun you around and told you to close your eyes. I flipped through the first book and found a picture of a map. It was very basic, I figured I would start you off with an easy one, to get you somewhat flustered by my actions. I licked the shell of your ear, very slowly and told you to open your eyes. You looked at the picture for all of ten seconds before you said it was a map of Europe. I hummed in response, running my nose along your neck, taking in your delicious scent. I put the book down on the small table next to us and pulled you against me. With my other hand fisted in your hair, I tilted your head to the side and kissed you once softly near your shoulder, slowly trailing my lips up the side of your neck. I placed one soft, wet kiss on you, right under your ear. You shivered and I pulled back, flipping through the book for the next picture. _

_I held the book out once more and showed you a picture of a country, with no words or symbols. It was just the basic shape, after looking at it for a few seconds, you said 'France'. I was proud, you impressed me with that one. Most people wouldn't have known that, just from a shape. I put the book back on the table, and pushed your arms up over your head. I told you to keep them there until I told you otherwise. I walked around you, to stand facing you. I dipped my head down to kiss your lips once before I slid my hands down your sides and snuck them under the hem of your dress. I love that dress, by the way. You looked positively delectable in it. I lifted your dress up and pushed it up under your chest and I hissed when I noticed you weren't wearing any panties. I gave you a knowing look and you just shrugged, knowing I loved it. I trailed kisses down the middle of your abdomen to your belly button. I licked and sucked a trail from hip to hip before standing in front of you and reached for the book, to find my next picture. You groaned as I walked behind you once again, pressing my erection against your beautiful ass. _

_I flipped through the book and found a picture of a river. I held it out in front of you, assuming that you most likely wouldn't know the answer to this one, as it could be one of many. You nervously answered and to my utmost surprise, you got the right answer. Then, I showed you one more. As soon as the page landed on The Eiffel Tower, you gasped my name and I dropped the book to the floor as I wrapped my arms around you, pulling you against me. You asked, very excitedly, if we were going to Paris. All I could do was nod slightly, as I was completely lost in you. I moaned into your ear, before kissing you in an icy trail down your neck. I spun you around and your arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer to you. You begged me to touch you. I could never deny you, our game came to an end, but something tells me, we will play many more fun games, all in due time my Love. _

_You whimpered when I reached for the hem of your little sweater dress. I pushed your legs apart and trailed my hand up the inside of your thigh. I moaned audibly when I noticed, once again, that you weren't wearing panties. You gave a devilish smirk and licked your lips. I told you I would make you cum so hard, that I didn't care where we were, but I had to taste you. I grabbed you and pushed back a few feet so you were pushed against the wall of books. I dropped to my knees in front of you and kissed your thighs, slowly pushing them apart. I grabbed onto your hips and picked you up so you could wrap your thighs around my head. I licked you softly before I sucked on your clit. You were making the most beautiful sounds I ever thought possible, whispering my name as you threw your head back. _

_I sucked and kissed your sweet pussy until you were breathing erratically. I licked you in slow, long strokes to spread around your wetness before I shoved my tongue inside you. You cried out and I knew you needed more. I pushed two fingers inside you with ease, you were so wet for me. I took your clit into my mouth as I worked you with my fingers. I took a chance and looked up at you and I moaned loudly to find you watching me. You whispered for me to stop, which surprised me because you never, ever want me to stop. I pulled away from you slowly and looked into your eyes, questioningly as I licked my lips. _

_You reached for my hands and showed me that you wanted me to stand, so I did. I pulled myself close to you and kissed your mouth, hard. You said that you wanted me in your mouth and I groaned deeply as I grinded against you. You whimpered as you felt my hard cock pressed against your belly. I leaned back against the books and you dropped to your knees, dragging your nails down my stomach and reaching for the button on my jeans. You popped it open and yanked down on the zipper and my impossibly hard cock sprung free so you took it into your hands, leaning forward to place a soft kiss to the tip. I gasped at the feeling, but refused to close my eyes. I needed to see you, I needed to watch you take my cock into your mouth. It was such a beautiful sight; it was extremely difficult to not let my eyes roll into the back of head from sheer pleasure. You moaned while taking in a mouthful and the vibration coursed through me, causing me to moan with you. _

_There are no words to describe how amazing your mouth feels around my cock. I swear to you, it's an indescribable feeling. You looked up at me as your mouth wrapped tightly around the base of my cock. I stared back at you, wide eyed at the sensation of my cock slipping down your throat. You tilted your head to the side and sucked slowly as you released me from your mouth. I felt the most wonderful pressure as your cheeks hollowed out and you released me with a slight pop. You stroked me at my base as you sucked on my head for a minute, building pressure in my stomach. I was so close, I had to taste you again. All I could think about, was your pussy as I was so close to cumming. I grabbed you by the arm and stood you up, very quickly. I reached around your body and lifted you up off the floor, spun you around and held you upside down. It was a beautiful sight. Your delectable pussy was right in my face, as you hung upside down in my arms. You went back to sucking my dick and I attacked your pussy with my mouth. We were moaning wildly, thankfully we were completely alone. There was no one within ear shot of us, I would have had plenty of time to notice. _

_After another minute or so of our … ministrations, I held you to me with one arm wrapped around you so I could have a hand free to push my fingers inside you. I was standing upright, so I had perfect balance and coordination, I held you easily. Not to mention … Vampire. You were stroking my dick with both hands as you sucked and licked all over my length. I was so hard for you, painfully hard. I needed to cum. But, I wanted your pussy and I didn't want to stop what I was doing to allow myself to feel the full effects of what you were doing with that talented mouth of yours. God Baby, I love your mouth. _

_At first, I was sucking on your clit as I repeatedly pushed my fingers in and out of you. Then, I decided I wanted to suck on your pussy instead. I pulled my fingers out of you, and started rubbing slow and sensitive circles around your clit as I sucked your delicious lips into my mouth. I was making out with your pussy, lapping up your juices as they spilled from you. After another couple of minutes, your breathing started to turn more frantic, the blood was rushing to your head. The combination of hanging upside down, and having an approaching orgasm was causing you to get dizzy and I was afraid you would pass out. As much as I didn't want to stop, I had to pull my mouth away. I swung you back over so you were standing up. I pushed you down on the floor and hovered above you. I kissed your mouth once, before I told you to lay perfectly still. You were lying on the floor, legs spread for me and I was not about to waste a single moment of it. I took position in between your legs, pressing my throbbing erection against your slick lips, careful not to slip inside, I started grinding myself against your clit. _

_You wrapped your tiny hand around my cock and started stroking me at an amazing pace. Not slow enough to prolong the intensity, but not too fast that I would have lost it in mere seconds. I reached down and pushed two fingers inside you, pumping them in and out. You were so close, I could feel your walls clenching around my fingers as I curled them inside you. You were moaning my name; it's the single most amazing sound in the world. Your eyes opened and locked on mine as you rolled through your orgasm. Your eyes never closed, you just stared up at me with love and admiration gleaming in them. Your pupils dilated and you took a slow deep breath. I knew you were cumming. Then I felt the tightening of your muscles and the rush of your juices spilling from you as I slowly pulled my fingers from inside you. Watching you cum, sent me head first into an overwhelming orgasm of my own. _

_You tightened your grip around my base and I placed my hand over yours, using both of our hands to pump through a few final strokes as I exploded all over your lower belly. I grunted as I buried my face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent, relaxing myself and coming back down from my blissful high. We didn't have time to just hold each other, since we were in a public place and all. You stood up first and smoothed out your dress. I followed, adjusting myself and zipping my pants back up. I looked at you and found the most beautiful and excited smile I think I've ever seen on you. You strode over to me and pulled yourself up to my face, wrapping your arms around my neck. You asked if we were really going to Paris, and I smiled and kissed your lips softly. I told you that we would in fact, be spending one week in Paris and then two weeks on an Island off the coast of Brazil. You squealed in excitement and kissed me. I couldn't help but laugh into our kiss, I didn't see this reaction coming from you at all. You never cease to amaze me. _

_We left the few books on the table and headed back down the steps and exited the library, unnoticed by anyone. If you would have told me six months ago, that you and I would have participated in a flying sixty nine, in the middle of a public library, I would have had your head examined. But, I'm okay with it now. I think it's just a part of who we are, what we are to each other. It will never be enough, Bella. I always want more of you, more of us. We are supposed to be this way, surrounded by our feelings for one another. I know that now, and I plan to embrace it and show you every single day, what you mean to me. _

_We headed back to the house so we could pack some bags and get ready for the next few days. Tomorrow, I will be away from you most of the day. I have to go with the rest of the Cullen men to pick up our tuxedos and I have to pick up something for you. You and the girls will be in Seattle almost the entire day. You are all going to a spa for the day. Massages and facials …. I could just picture your stubborn frown while you're there. I'm sure, as much as you'll feel out of place, you will enjoy yourself. It's nice to be able to relax after dealing with all the details of the wedding. I would like to be the one giving you the massage, but we both know how that would end up. _

_I made you a quiet dinner and sat with you as you ate. We watched a movie with Jasper and Alice, then I carried you upstairs and drew you a bubble bath. You stood in front of me and I admired your sweater dress one last time before I slipped it over your head. I thought back to our fun in the library from earlier in the day. Instant erection. You noticed and smiled, reaching your hand to place on my chest. You leaned up on your toes and kissed me once on the lips. I grabbed you and lifted you off the floor as I hugged you to my chest, kissing you with a softness that projected my mood to you. I wasn't in an animalistic trance, I was calm, collected and I just wanted to hold you. I wanted to relax with you. I unhooked your bra, slid it down your arms and let it fall to the floor. I placed a soft kiss to the valley in between your breasts as I walked you backwards towards the Jacuzzi. _

_You stepped in and got comfortable and I was about to leave the bathroom when you asked me to stay. I smiled and walked back towards you. I planned to just sit on the floor next to the hot tub and keep you company, but you wouldn't hear of it. I stripped off my clothes, which had you in a daze, might I add. And, I stepped into the tub, getting in behind you so I could wrap my arms around you. You leaned on my chest and the warm bubbles consumed us completely. It was the perfect way to relax. I love being with you like that. As long as I'm close to you, I'm content. After our bath, we dried off, slipped on some pj's and hopped into bed. _

_You are asleep in my arms right now. You fell asleep on my chest, while I sang to you softly. You were almost fully asleep when you whispered my name and said that you love me. The smile on my face must have been big enough to spread across my entire face. I love you too, Bella. Always. _

_Tomorrow, your journal entry will be the last time I write to you as Bella Swan. Every time after, you will be Bella Cullen. My wife. I am counting the hours; I honestly, cannot wait to see you walking down that isle towards me and our new life together. _

_I slipped in a picture of The Eiffel Tower, into your journal. I ripped it out of a magazine. I wrote underneath it, that today was the day that we had some "fun" in the library, while you guessed where we were going on our honeymoon. I am laughing to myself as I picture you reading this entry one day. I hope you will be smiling at the memory, I know I will be. _

_Sleep well, My Love… _

_Forever, Edward_

_**Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I promise, the next one won't take so long! **_

_**Reviews make me happy !**_

_**Special Thank You's… to my Fic Hubz Jordan, You seem to distract me ;).. but you also push me to get it done. Thank you for the chapter help ;) I Love you! … Callie… oh who am I kidding, you won't see this for months xD haha but you know I Love you. Thanks for being so amazing! Amanda, Nobody can work Photoshop the way you can… btw.. I've got another project for you! Love you!…. Miss. Bell …. You are simply wonderful and this chapter is for you! Love you!**_

_**Also, real quick … if you haven't checked out our blog… dewwittt now!**_

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_**Much Love, **_

_**Nicci**_


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